Name: Bradley Werner Hometown: New York, NY Website: Vowel Movement Started with Just Laugh: June 2003

Favorite Book: Anything by Dave Barry, Douglas Adams or Kilgore Trout
Favorite Quotation:

"We're all in this together, whatever it is." -- Kurt Vonnegut

• 1 - Genie
• 1 - Light brown hair wig (just in case my genie is a lemon)
• 1 - Bowl of cornflakes
• 2 – Scoops of raisins

Neutral Milk Hotel: An Aeroplane Over the Sea
The Beatles: Abby Road
Pink Floyd: Meddle
The White Stripes: Elephant
Mississippi John Hurt: Complete 1928 Okeh Recordings

How did you get started in the business?

I’ve been writing since I was young. In college I applied for a humor column and was assigned a DVD-Column. One day, in one of the cafeterias, I systematically approached each table and asked if anyone had read my most recent DVD column “Viewer Discretion Advised.” When no one had ever heard of it, I switched the focus from “DVDs,” to “Insane and irate stories that’s lacked clarity or focus.” Within three weeks I had regular fan mail and got my humor column.

During the summer of 2001, while working as an intern at Maxim, I sent some ideas to the then-features editor, who used some of my ideas in a later-articles and confirmed that I was “a funny guy.” In 2002 I had the opportunity to sit around for 2 hours with Dave Barry as he did radio interviews for Tricky Business. He too glanced over my columns, and Emperor Barry told me, ”I liked ‘em.” (He’s my hero)

In January I started writing my first novel and recently finished the 9th draft, so with 250 pages of manuscript in my hands, I have now become “serious” about my writing.

Why do you do what you do?

I wake up in the middle of the night with ideas. I’ll be on the subway and find a whole column sitting in my head...I do what I do because if I didn’t...I’d need a lot of therapy.

<Author sticks hand up own butt, pulls out an imaginary medieval scroll, unrolls it and inspects today’s musings.>

While my website, www.vowelmovement.com, is home to all my previous columns, I pat myself on the back these days because of Pee in this Cup, my unpublished novel. My favorite columns though include "Save the Elves," "Inside Advice," and "I don't know your god damn name."

With three or four more unpublished novels.

"The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it...cowabunga!" -- Michelangelo