Most things your conservative relatives will say about our 44th President are just made up anyways, so we figured why should they be the only ones having all of the fun making up facts about Barack Obama around the dinner table this holiday season?!
Here are a few new facts about our current President, as well some fun holiday classics to keep every Republican at the table on their toes as they shockingly find themselves on the same side as you for the first time since Jesus landed on Plymouth Rock back in 1620…
- President Obama is close friends with Boris Badenov, Snidely Whiplash, and that snickering dog from the Hanna-Barbera cartoons who was also most definitely evil.
- A little-known clause in Section 143.B.7. of the Affordable Care Act pays its namesake $10 for each person who signs up for Obamacare.
- Although it’s true that President Obama has used considerably less vacation days than his predecessors, he does spend an average of four months each year during the spring and summer in a cocoon-like state before blossoming just in time for fall football season.
- President Obama sometimes wishes he was a koala bear.
- When the wolfbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright, President Obama can often be found eating nachos and watching reruns of Howdy Doody in his presidential pajamas.
- It’s not uncommon for the President to make a defensive hissing sound when encountering one of the many stray cats that roam the White House grounds.
- If the Keystone Pipeline is voted to completion, Barack Obama stands to lose upwards of $60 in a side bet that he has with Speaker of the House John Boehner.
- President Obama has not snuck down to the White House pantry to sneak Frosted Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts at 2:30am while Michelle was sleeping 47 times since first taking office in 2009.
- Barack Obama looks forward to going moose hunting with Sarah Palin when this whole thing is finally over.
- Sometimes President Obama watches FOX News to temper certain sadomasochistic tendencies.
- If the President is really good, sometimes the First Lady will let him open one present from under the tree on Christmas Eve before going to bed.
- The Obama Family Holiday Newsletter this year included coupons for two free months of Obamacare along with entirely too many pictures of their dog, Bo.
- The President and First Lady have made a White House tradition of staying up late on Christmas Eve to surprise their girls with a fourteen foot tall Rice Krispie Treat Christmas tree. The marshmallows alone cost taxpayers over $73,000 each year.
- Frosty the Snowman was inspired by Barack Obama’s Uncle Lester, who began building snowmen as an alternative to a curious carrot fetish that had gotten him into some trouble with a humble traveling preacher named Parson Brown.
- President Obama’s favorite TV Christmas special is A Garfield Christmas on account of the president’s deep love for lasagna and communism.