Let’s Make 2015 Just Kind of So-So!

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We know that people tend to get all motivational and eager for new life changes as we prepare to leave one year behind and charge into the next, but honestly if we really sit down and think about it, 2014 was already pretty great.

Is it really worth getting all worked up and setting impossible standards for ourselves to make going into 2015???

The answer, of course, is a resounding, “No way, José!” Here are some things that we can all do together to make the new year alright, but admittedly not as amazing in comparison to the mighty annum that was 2014…

• Show up half-heartedly to at least 2/3rds of daughter’s boring dance recitals.
• Give up on weight loss resolution before gym’s 14-day trial membership rolls over into 2-year commitment.
• Buy flowers for your wife, but forget to give her that packet of plant food that they give you so they don’t last as long as they should.
• Three Words: Miami Vice Marathon!
• Test boss’s lenient internet policy by searching for weird things to keep him on his toes (i.e. stapler bong instructions, corncob pipe erotica).
• Consume nothing but bottled water and Cinnamon Toast Crunch for one month, and watch the results.
• Humor the kid at the grocery store by letting him carry your groceries out, then admitting that you parked at the store down the street.
• Start buying your Christmas gifts in July, wrap them by September, and hand them out by Halloween so that your friends can still get the best deals for Christmas when they return them.
• Go to great strides not to accomplish anything significant or noteworthy unless your accounting method allows you to still attribute it to 2014.
• When in doubt, refer to last year’s Facebook posts to make sure that you’re not being too awesome in 2015. Save it for 2016 – now that’s going to be a year to remember!