Slip-sliding away, fun in the sun with the waves at your back – only $45/person stands between you and these during a day at the local water park this hot summer’s day!
But say if one wanted to maximize their fun in said sun … what 8 – 10 bulleted points might one reference to make their $45 really go the extra mile, so to speak???
Try these little sandcastles on for size…
- If you’re going to be out in the sun for longer than 15 seconds, don’t forget to slather on the 1500 SPF until you’re whiter than Casper the Ghost. When it’s thick enough that it kind of resembles the consistency of kindergarten paste on your skin, put on one more bottle … just in case!
- Know that it’s perfectly natural to be afraid of the waterslides. Don’t let your girlfriend pressure you into doing something that you don’t want to do simply because the line consists mostly of teenage girls who are collectively probably more manly than you are.
- Besides, there’s always the kiddie area with slides that aren’t any taller than you are – just be careful not to hog all of the fun from those who are legitimately 36″ and under…
- Some of the best water parks even feature a wave pool that simulates real surfing conditions every few minutes. Or real drowning conditions, depending on your proficiency.
- Admittedly not much of a water fan at all? Well that was a waste of forty-five bucks, but maybe you can build sandcastles or something before it’s time to lay down for your afternoon nap.
- If there’s one thing water parks are great for, it’s inadvertently catching a glimpse of boobs … specifically man boobs, so if you’re what the community likes to refer to as a “chubby chaser,” then you’re in for a real treat!
- For something slightly less appetizing, stop by the snack bar to witness not a single solitary person honoring that “don’t go swimming until an hour after you eat” rule like a bunch of savages.
- And finally, when it rains – because it always rains – just remember that you’re already wet anyways because you’ve been having a blast at a water park all day! Unless you’re the guy who’s afraid of waterslides, and the wave pool, and Gary the Greased Up Lifeguard … which granted that one is a reasonable concern … then you’re probably already back at home anyways, which is a bummer because you were everybody else’s ride but I suppose that’s what they get for dragging you to a water park when you’d have really rather gone to the arcade in the first place! 😉