Humor Blog Highlights

Ten Fun Facts About Frosty the Snowman

© Clivia / Dollar Photo Club
  1. Frosty has no relation to Parson Brown, however he is an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church.
  2. Unlike most other holiday favorites, if you were to light Frosty’s eyes on fire his entire head would melt clean off his body.
  3. Though his birth name is actually Edward Sinclair, his agent quickly suggested the stage name of Frosty the Snowman to be more appealing to the 4 to 7 year-old demographic.
  4. Frosty’s genitals range from non-existent to unnaturally ginormous, depending on the grade level of the person you ask.
  5. The same magic in the silk hat that brought Frosty to life is also said to have animated the Mona Lisa, the Statue of Liberty, and that huge Christmas tree they put up in the Rockefeller Center … now that was a weird Christmas!
  6. In many cultures, the idea of a creature made of snow and ice coming alive to chase little children around the park would be considered disturbing.
  7. Psychologists often use Frosty’s tale of self-loathing depression as a case study, suggesting that had the kids simply offered to play in the shade instead, his fear of melting could’ve been managed without subsequent medication.
  8. Frosty’s favorite Christmas movie is Die Hard.
  9. Nobody really knows what made Frosty have to hurry on his way at the end of the song, but chances are it was probably some obnoxious kids.
  10. Frosty the Snowman is particularly concerned about the ongoing effects of climate change because as an animated manifestation comprised primarily of snow, rising global temperatures directly threaten his way of life as a snowman who requires a reliable system of seasons to prosper. Also, he’s got a lot of friends that are polar bears and they’re really getting fucked over with the whole thing, too.
About Scott Sevener (565 Posts since 2001)
The Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Just Laugh, Scott writes about the random things in life that amuse him - from the miracle of childbirth to the bologna sandwich he just ate for breakfast. He currently resides in Tampa, FL with a girl, a baby, and a dog that never shuts the hell up.