Humor Blog Highlights

10 Creatures Ted Cruz Vows to Consume If Elected President

1. An Anaconda … to remind the world who the deadliest predator deep in the jungles of the Congo really is.

20160502_cruz-anaconda_30890891© joelfotos / Depositphotos

2. A Pink, Plastic Lawn Flamingo … to remind the world who the deadliest predator deep in the trailer parks of America really is.

20160502_cruz-flamingos_27717481© kenhurst / Depositphotos

3. President Obama’s Dog, Bo … to serve as the GOP’s last ceremonial jab at America’s Worst President Ever.

20160502_cruz-dog_13094149© Zottelhund / Adobe Stock

4. The Heart of An American Bald Eagle … to gain its courage or something.

20160502_cruz-eagle_40852627© Funniefarm5 / Depositphotos

5. A Bunch of Cartoon Animals Riding a Cartoon Train … to ensure that the kiddos don’t get too complacent.

20160502_cruz-cartoon_32749701© akarakingdoms / Depositphotos

6. Roughly 11,000 Carpenter Ants … nothing special about this one – just a hearty breakfast to start the day right.

20160502_cruz-ants_85131182© Meisterphotos / Depositphotos

7. A Majestic Bottlenose Dolphin … because he fucking hates them.

20160502_cruz-dolphins_10153521© Andreus / Depositphotos

8. Bernie Sanders … to finally rid the world of socialism once and for all.

20160502_cruz-bernie_87519548© sgtphoto / Depositphotos

9. The Winged Serpent Known Throughout the Realm as Sorventh, Bringer of Death … for tax reform.

20160502_cruz-dragon_38979041© algolonline / Depositphotos

10. The Mighty Elephant Seal … because there can be only one.

20160502_cruz-seal_96678484© cboswell / Depositphotos
About Scott Sevener (572 Posts since 2001)
The Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Just Laugh, Scott writes about the random things in life that amuse him - from the miracle of childbirth to the bologna sandwich he just ate for breakfast. He currently resides in Tampa, FL with a girl, a baby, and a dog that never shuts the hell up.