A demonic craving for savings falls over the nation as many disregard sleep and even sharing the holiday with their families for a chance to save 40% on a pair of slippers shaped like the poop emoji.
Small Business Saturday
Shoppers are encouraged to buy some presents at the locally owned shops in their neighborhood, with weekend discounts bringing their prices down to only 10-20% over what you would consider actually reasonable.
Sleep In for Savings Sunday
Everyone agrees to give it a rest after two and a half days of solid Christmas shopping – stores don’t open until, say, noon or maybe one o’clock in the afternoon…
Charge up your intertrons and pretend like we haven’t been shopping online for over a decade now as websites promise to offer the zaniest virtual deals that your hyper-wallet can download!
Topless grocery shopping.
Work?! No, Shop! Wednesday
Get written up at your job for extending your Thanksgiving holiday well past HR’s standard vacation time offering because those boring spreadsheets will be there every day but savings like these won’t last for long…
Just Plain, Old Thursday
Exhausted and penniless, but with a heart filled with more Christmas gifts than you actually know people to give them to, it’s time to return to your normal, everyday life for approximately a day and a half until your brain drops completely into Christmas mode and you officially clock out for the rest of the year. Feel free to whistle Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer until then!