Humor Blog Highlights

New Line of “Pope Active Wear” Just in Time for Fall!

VATICAN CITY (Just Laugh) – He’s brought peace to millions of followers, ranked atop the ten most important men on the planet, and now His Holiest of Holy has another credit to his name – fashion designer!

After watching his native brethren dominate the industry for years and years, the Pope himself has finally decided to throw his own holy hat into the ring with a new line of active wear that has believers reeling with anticipation. Appropriately titled “Pope Tracks,” the new collection created by His Holiness features a full array of jogging gear, exercise suits, and warm-ups designed with the truly active religious enthusiast in mind.

“You would think that the man has enough on his hands already, what with being God’s chosen spokesman of all mankind and whatnot,” said Molly McMasters, a close, personal friend of the Pope, “but we have a saying around here – ‘The Pope works in mysterious ways…’ and that’s just what you’ve got in this case.” Nonetheless, McMasters declined to comment when asked if she would be purchasing any of the Pope’s items for herself.

“It’s just something that I’ve always wanted to do,” the Pope himself told Just Laugh in an exclusive interview. “You know, like climbing Mount Everest or having sex with an actual woman – I finally decided that I’m certainly not getting any younger, so what the hell!” He continued to explain that, “…and with all of the turmoil that the world faces today, I think it’s my duty to influence their lives in a positive manner, whatever it takes – prayers, sermons, or yes, even a collection of quality apparel for the sacramental athletic enthusiast, available at an affordable price wherever fine clothing is sold.”

While the Pope wasn’t able to predict whether or not his entrepreneurial ventures would continue on to other product lines, it is rumored that, pending the success of his new active wear, we could be finding such labeled items as seraphic running shoes, catching gloves, and even a special “Divine Pope Edition Wheaties” box collection, featuring the his Holiness in a variety of action poses. With this kind of merchandising, all that’s left will be the action figures themselves (not due to hit stores until Christmas 2004…)!

About Scott Sevener (580 Posts since 2001)
The Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Just Laugh, Scott writes about the random things in life that amuse him - from the miracle of childbirth to the bologna sandwich he just ate for breakfast. He currently resides in Tampa, FL with a girl, a baby, and a dog that never shuts the hell up.