WASHINGTON, D.C. (Just Laugh) – As the war efforts in Iraq come to a close and the sense of terror begins to diminish back in the homeland, the questioning of Presidential prowess has finally come into the foreground once again, only this time President Bush himself has decided to settle this matter once and for all…
“I really DON’T know a whole lot about running our country, The United States of America,” Bush began, “but does it really matter, anyways?! It’s not like I actually run this place all by myself, now do I? That’s what all of these guys are for…” he continued, motioning to his hand-picked cabinet behind him. “Without these guys, it’d just be like another trip through my Dad’s legis…legisa…errr, legislation all over again!”
“Hey, wait a minute!” George Bush Sr. countered, until realizing that he was even invited to this press conference and was dragged away by security.
“It’s all a matter of image, technically…” explained Chief White House Correspondent of Hairy Situations Michael Helmstrung, “…because even though the American people like to belief that their fate lies in the hands of one single, self-sufficient leader, let’s be realistic here! Democracy is all about the people having choices and as neat-o as our law system sounds on paper, it just doesn’t happen when you’ve got one guy up there calling all of the shots.”
“It’s just easier having a dumb guy playing the role of the leader of the free world, that’s all,” continued Jane Dickson, Chief Financial Aide in Charge of Internal Affairs. “It’s actually something that we’ve been wanting to do for a while, that is – putting somebody of such incredible ignorance in such a high position of power within our corporation…errr, government. We actually tried to get the ball rolling a few years ago, but the guy that we had picked out was a little, shall we say ‘distracted’? Needless to say, that kind of managed to cover itself up, but I think we’ve got a really good thing going this time and with another four-year-reign…errr, I mean election, just around the corner, things can only get better!”
When asked for one final comment about the allegations that he was merely a puppet in the hands of several large corporations, President Bush told us, “What’s wrong with that – I love puppets! That Kermit the Frog, he really cracks me up, always running away from that silly little pig. It just doesn’t get any better than that! Did I tell you that I actually got to meet Kermit and some of his friends last Christmas? Oh, that was the best holiday at Mom and Dad’s house EVER!”
We bet it was, Georgey. We bet it was…