Pipestone, MN (Just Laugh) – The once undefeated playground champion with regards to the acquired taste of consuming his own dried nasal mucus in the small town of Pipestone along the Minnesota/South Dakota border, 4th grader Kevin Bowman recently found his legendary status threatened when newcomer Travis Wood moved to town and displayed a booger-eating prowess that others could describe only as unfathomable.
“It was unlike anything we’d ever seen before!” wowed Bowman’s classmates Ryan Shelley and Chelsea Watkins.
“It used to be a given that Kevin was the booger-eating ruler of the playground, but then this new kid shows up and makes Kevin’s booger-eating look like a pile of crap…”
Unwilling to hand over his hard-earned title without a fight, it’s been said that Bowman has since secluded himself in his bedroom where he currently trains for grueling 14-hour days in preparation for his title bout with Wood later on this summer that will determine his booger-eating status that could haunt him for the rest of his elementary school career.
The title of Booger Eating Champion was previously lost by Adam Bishop of Mrs. Wheeler’s class last year when a tragic wincing mid-bite caused classmates to lose faith in his genuine desire for eating his own boogers and demanded that the title pass to Bowman as his rightful successor.