Donald Trump Hires Team of Experts to Help Dislodge Foot From Mouth

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NEW YORK CITY (Just Laugh) – For a billionaire who says a lot of things, Donald Trump has a huge staff of employees to support his various ventures, and now after a series of disparaging remarks about immigrants, the national media, and even prisoners of war in only the last month since he announced his candidacy for President, his support team is about to grow a little bigger as 47 experts in their fields prepare to join Trump for his biggest project to date.

Estimated to take 12 – 18 months and cost over $450 million, the project tasked with removing Trump’s foot from his own gaping mouth faces an uphill battle as the arrogant businessman turned ignorant politician continues to spout off in the direction of anyone who might one day vote for him in the future, almost as if unaware as to how the election process he’s invited himself into actually works, though his highly paid experts agree that no task is too large when Donald Trump’s money is involved.

“We all knew what we were getting into when we signed up for this project,” said Chief Oral Pathologist Dr. Janet McKinley, “but Donald Trump is a very wealthy man and we’re willing to work long hours, weekends, holidays – you name it – at upwards of $900/hour to help Mr. Trump remove his foot from his mouth to become the viable candidate that he thinks this country deserves.”

“I hire winners,” Trump himself said presumptuously, “and if these guys can’t help me get what I want, I’m going to fire every last one of them because that would in fact make them losers, and I only hire winners.”

Dr. McKinley added, rolling her eyes while focused on the gigantic, cardboard check in front of her, “Like I said, we’ve got a lot of work to do…”