Man Concedes Time to Retire Confederate Cowgirl Mudflaps
Blackville, SC (Just Laugh) – Amid the recent controversy surrounding the confederate battle flag that flies over the South Carolina Capitol as protestors insist that it’s time for the banner representing the losing side of America’s Civil War and all that it stood for to be retired to our nation’s museums, some 50 miles south in the small town of Blackville (pop. 2,347), a man by the name of Wilson Lambert has been fighting an internal battle of his own.
“I’ve had these things flapping since I first brought Old Bessie home,” Lambert mused sentimentally, pointing at the 1974 blue Ford pick-up truck that he’d driven around the countryside for the better part of his adult life, though as he held the generously used rubber mudflaps depicting an attractive woman superimposed over the infamous relic of the Confederacy, it was clear that the man knew deep in his heart that it was time to say goodbye.
Taking a sip out of his God Save the South coffee mug before hitching up his jeans that were also belted into place by the irksome badge of a conflict many generations gone by, a long, drawn-out sigh made known that although State Road S-6-459 would finally free of the oppressive imagery clad in billowing sex, it would be much longer before old Wilson Lambert would be persuaded to trade in his favorite coffee mug or his collection of authentic Flags of the Confederate States of America belt buckles, too.