Sanctions Proposed to Prevent NYPD from Developing Nuclear Weapons

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NEW YORK (Just Laugh) – As tensions continue to rise between the people of New York City and those who’ve been chosen to serve and protect with rampant abuses of power becoming an all too frequent headline, one group is now proposing that the city take steps to ensure that the unbalance that exists between the boys in blue and those who end up black and blue doesn’t escalate even further into what could only be described as having devastating results.

“The NYPD is an unstable regime capable of unspeakable horrors against the people it was enlisted to protect,” decried spokesman Allen Windgreen, “and though we must carefully weigh our rules and regulations so as to not hold these heroes back from curtailing the minimal number of actual crimes that the department prevents, we must also formally acknowledge that excessive force is a verifiable issue with the NYPD as they stand collectively today, and as such we the people must take steps to ensure that this force is not permitted under any circumstance to go nuclear.”

Fearing that a police department with nuclear capabilities could be nothing short of horrific for the citizens of New York, the Center for a Nuke Free NYC suggests an array of new controls to be put into place that includes limiting the weapons-grade plutonium that officers are allowed to carry on their persons to less than 0.05 kilos as well as mandating all officers attend a 4-hour seminar on how to disarm and disable potential threats without the use of nuclear weapons.