Teachers Eager to Get Back to Being Under-Appreciated for Another Year

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AMERICA (Just Laugh) – As the lazy days of summer finally come to a close and students find themselves trading in wake boards and mountain bikes for pencils and books once more, another group is equally excited to say goodbye to the summer months so that they can get back to doing the thing that they do best – educating our nation’s youth while being subsequently beleaguered by their parents at every turn who understand so little about education that they fail to see the benefit of not being surrounded by future generations of idiots who will one day vote and pay taxes and make nursing home-related decisions on their behalf.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong,” said 9th grade biology teacher Henry Moore as he hung up his apron and paper cap for the last time, “scooping ice cream for $8/hour for the same horrible parents who complain about me getting summers off is great and all, but I always look forward to getting back to those twelve-hour workdays to teach their miserable children the common sense things that they could be learning at home so that we could focus at school on things that will help them get a leg up when they actually try to get real jobs!”

“I’ve already heard that several of the parents in local government are planning to sue our teacher’s union,” explained 11th grade english teacher Janet Pearson as she carried in her fourth load of guidebooks from the conference she’d attended the week prior. “It’s the threat of reduced benefits, and the smell of freshly-sharpened pencils, and the quality time my partner and I will spend grading papers all weekend long that let me know that school time is finally here again…”

Other educators shared their favorite parts about the beginning of the new school year to include:

• Open houses so that they can put a face to the parents who will be leaving vulgar voicemails any time they dare to issue extra homework while football season has their sons out playing late
• Grocery store aisle advice from homeschooling parents who genuinely think that they do the same thing that real teachers do
• Students having no respect for them during class because they listen to their parents bitch about them being overpaid all of the goddamn time at home
• Eating grilled cheese and ramen noodles for the whole month of September after stocking their entire classrooms out of their own wallets
• Sucking it up and still doing their jobs like a boss anyways because despite the constant barrage of criticism and utter lack of basic respect, no one else ever seems to have the guts to step up and actually try being a teacher themselves