Twin Toddlers Form Newest West Coast Crime Syndicate

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Monterey, CA (Just Laugh) – To the ordinary passerby, Hank and Henry Glasser just look like a pair of adorable, twin brothers who are always smiling and having the time of their lives, but sources closer to the boys cite that the mastermind duo is in fact preparing to turn the city on its head as they become the leading toddlers in organized crime on the golden coast.

“You see them on the playground and they seem like just a couple of kids,” reported a local Mom on the condition of anonymity, “but my daughter said that last week alone they killed fourteen members of the Russian mafia and threw their bodies off the end of the Monterey Pier before heading off to nap time like it was nothing.”

“I told Janie not to play with those Glasser boys anymore,” the woman warned nervously. “That’s a good way to end up in a bodybag or something…”

Unabashedly citing their plans to revolutionize crime throughout the city, young Hank and Henry warned as they each sipped attentively on a fresh cup of apple juice, “Just don’t get in our way and there won’t be any trouble. This city is ours and there’s nothing that you fuckers can do to take it back from us.”

Henry Glasser then proceeded to kick over a tower of blocks that had been dutifully constructed by one of their playmates while his brother simply shrugged and vaguely threatened us, “I guess we’ll be seeing you…”