WASHINGTON (Just Laugh) – As the fall leaves slowly begin to disappear under a blanket of white snow and families across the nation prepare to come together in celebration of Thanksgiving, another species waits in trepidation for the President annual tradition to pardon only one of their own on a holiday that is very different for their population.
“In a way it’s kind of like a reverse Hunger Games,” complained veteran turkey Al Gobble. “Out of all of us, one turkey will be pardoned by the President and sent on his merry way, and the rest of us will all be sentenced to be eaten by hordes of hungry Americans in this celebration of theirs. It’s really kind of %#^$-ed up if you think about it…”
Each year the President of the United States celebrates a few days before the Thanksgiving holiday by pardoning one lucky turkey and allowing it to live out the remainder of its days on a farm without fear of being eaten. Once this presidential tradition concludes, however, millions of the remaining turkeys are hopelessly slaughtered and stuffed with breadcrumbs to be served alongside mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce while Americans argue about their political choices before going out to stand in lines all night in search of cheap prices for Christmas gifts.