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Trump Refuses to Concede to Being Finished with Beef Carpaccio

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NEW YORK CITY (Just Laugh) – Watching nervously from the galley as Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump entered hour three of staring down his half-eaten plate of the restaurant’s signature beef carpaccio, waitstaff of Manhattan’s famous Buon Ristorante had begun to wonder if Mr. Trump would ever concede to being finished with his lunch so that they could clear the dining room and finally begin their preparations for dinner.

“Sir, if you’re not happy with your lunch, we’d be more than happy to bring you something else…” Maître D’ Alfonzo Moretti asked of the esteemed businessman, only to be quickly ushered away by Trump Campaign Manager, Kellyanne Conway.

“Mr. Trump will be finished with his meal once he is satisfied that it has been prepared fairly and justly,” Conway told the headwaiter curtly. “Unless, of course, he loves his meal, in which case you’re welcome to take his plate once it’s been fully cleared.”

“With all due respect, Ma’am,” Moretti countered in private with Conway, “he’s hasn’t taken a bite in an hour and a half. We need to prep for our dinner guests … certainly your candidate has more important things to do this afternoon as well…”

“Mr. Trump … right now … is focused on his lunch, and that is all,” Conway reiterated with a dismissive sigh before returning her attention to her Blackberry while Trump sat silently across from her.

After watching the presidential hopeful push the remaining pieces of beef around his plate with his fork for another twenty minutes without taking a single bite, Buon Manager Alessandro Ricci placed his head in his hand with a deep sigh before instructing his team to present Trump’s campaign staff with their selection of fine coffee and espresso offerings as they appeared to be settling in for a long evening.

“We have guests that travel from Paris and London just for our carpaccio,” Ricci cited frustratingly as he began regretfully calling dinner guests to cancel their reservations for that evening. “150 years of history in that carpaccio in front of him, but I guess he’s still just … not sure.”

About Scott Sevener (580 Posts since 2001)
The Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Just Laugh, Scott writes about the random things in life that amuse him - from the miracle of childbirth to the bologna sandwich he just ate for breakfast. He currently resides in Tampa, FL with a girl, a baby, and a dog that never shuts the hell up.