WANTED: Professional Bathroom Attendant
The prestigious Roosevelt Hotel is proud to announce an opening in our Restroom Services team for a self-motivated professional in the lavatorial arts.
Experience required – this is NOT an entry-level position!
Guests at the Roosevelt expect the utmost in care and professionalism in every aspect when they visit our hotel, not only in our award-winning restaurants and on our world-class polo fields, but also extending into our private, world-renowned restrooms located throughout our facilities as well.
Our ideal candidate is an expert in:
- The pristine care of up to half a dozen diamond-quality urinals found in our executive washrooms
- Delicate pampering of guest genitals upon conclusion of their lavatorial visit (i.e. our distinguished Dry and Tuck Policy)
- Not making eye contact with our guests at any time
- Immaculate concern for the sparkling presentation of their work area
- A passion for treating each guest’s micturition as if it were the most rewarding part of their day
Salary is consummate with experience; this is a non-tipping position.
Potential applicants should be prepared to showcase their full skillset in practice during the interview process.
A drug urine test is required of all our staff in this position simply because we think it’s funny.