Why Do Women Get Frazzled?
I was asked this question the other day and thought the answer needed had to do with specific reasons such as: Having to be two places at the same time, forgetting to take something out of the freezer for dinner and/or getting peanut butter out of a child’s hair without chopping it all up.
Apparently I misinterpreted the question. The question wasn’t about what made us, as women, frazzled but why we actually get frazzled. What is the psychology behind becoming stress-addled and why do we let ourselves go down this road all too often?
This is a different question entirely, isn’t it? It is a question that has various answers for everyone. On one hand, one woman may have a very organized life and anything outside of her well-prepared day is too much for her to handle so she gets frazzled. Being orderly is a part of her genetic make-up and personality. It cannot be helped.
On the other hand, another woman may be downright lazy and anything that detracts from her lazy schedule is too much for her to handle so she gets frazzled. Being lazy is a part of her genetic make-up and personality. It cannot be helped.
Perhaps you are like me and you sit around worrying and wondering about being frazzled even when you are not and it completely drains your energy thus making you frazzled about absolutely nothing. Being mentally challenged is a part of my make-up. It cannot be helped.
These are just a few surface answers to a very deep question. However, if you really want to get down to it, here are some of the reasons women get frazzled:
We get frazzled because the world doesn’t revolve around us and it should. When we say something, we should be listened to. When we have an opinion, it should be taken seriously. When we have a need, it should be tended to promptly. Doesn’t the phone and energy companies know that you are home only on Sunday afternoons between 2:00 PM and 4:00 PM? You are probably taking a nap but if they are quiet, you won’t mind them repairing your necessities at this time.
Do you think soccer moms really want to be soccer moms? Ask them what they really want. It shouldn’t surprise you. They would like to be home for more than an hour a day. They would also like to go out to eat dinner without their child bouncing up and down on the chair at the restaurant. If they must be soccer moms, they would like to sit in a shaded area on a comfortable lounge chair with a mini bar. Is this too much to ask? And you wonder why we, as women, get frazzled. It is no wonder!
When we signed up to become wonder woman it didn’t mean slave woman. It is not a joy to clean the house, work full-time, tend to the kids and still be expected to be turned on by a man who can waltz through the door at exactly 5:15 PM each day, plop himself on the sofa, channel flip the rest of the evening and still make more money than you.
Plus, while you are cooking and doing laundry so everyone can have clean clothes the next day, he is in the den wrestling with the kids for exactly fifteen minutes yet never misses a beat of his favorite television program. This is all it takes for him to be the golden parent. It just isn’t fair. We, as women, get to be the ones who are scowled at when we ask, “Who wants to help mommy clean up the kitchen after dinner?” This brings a barrage of frowns from everyone in the household, including dear old daddy.
No wonder it is called ‘Mother Earth’. There is no harder job or greater responsibility. Is it any wonder women aren’t frazzled 24/7? There is hardly enough time for pleasure and when there is time you are so tired you opt for sleep instead. No wonder God took a day off. God must have been one tired God!
Our society’s motto is: Be the best. This modern creed would like for us to believe work is number one and everything else is secondary. It would like us to believe we do not need any time off and that financial gain proves worthiness in society. Now, I’ll be the first to jump up and say I enjoy money. Boy, do I ever! However, what happened to softball games after church on Sunday and catching fireflies after the sun goes down? I haven’t seen a firefly yet this summer. Are they still around? If not, why wasn’t I informed?
Sigh.
In order for many women to get off Prozac, leave a state of continual anxiety behind and balance out the scales once more, we need to change society’s mind and this begins by changing our own. Remember when our parents would say, “If so-and-so jumped off of a bridge, would you?” Yeah, we should have listened. Instead of trying to be what we believe the world expects us to be, we need to go at our own pace and be who we really are. Many women don’t even know the surface of who they are because they are doing what they believe they are supposed to be doing. I have fallen into this category many times throughout my life. So have my friends. To be fair, men have, also.
Try this: Tonight after everyone gets home, throw yourself on the floor and start crying. Your family will totally freak out. When one of your children asks you what is wrong, tell them you don’t want to prepare dinner tonight. Tell them you are tired and you want to sit on the back porch and read for a little while but you have so much to do and you never get to do what you want to do. Kids will respond to you being human. They are human every day.
Your kids will immediately want to make dinner for you. Who cares if they make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches? How many times have you made them eat it? They will be so happy to help out. It will make them feel important and it will give you a little break. This is why we call it a family.
I’ll even bet big daddy will fold up the load of clothes in the dryer and then sit with you on the porch while you read and rub your shoulders for, at least, fifteen minutes.
Sometimes frazzled women need to give up. Sometimes it is the only way to get things done.
