A Curve in the Road
Michael drove from work anxious to get home to his wife, eat dinner and relax. It had been a grueling day full of demands, a twenty-page report due by noon, which would have been ready had his computer not gone awry.
As it turned out, it was a day filled with much work left uncompleted and hanging over his head. What Michael needed was some good food and to do a little venting to get rid of his stress.
What Michael did not know, what he could not foresee, is that he was driving home to a woman who was packed and fully loaded. The gun she held was a 36C PMS Revolver and it was ready to fire.
As Michael opened the door and entered the home he and his wife, Jan, had shared for nearly two years, all of the lights were off with the exception of a small lamp in their bedroom.
You would think, having been married for nearly two years, Michael would have already picked up on the notion that something was wrong.
Had Michael been a bright man, he might have called the pizza place to have dinner delivered and prayed to God for extra help in guiding him through the remainder of the evening.
These things did not cross Michael’s mind because Michael had experienced a long, frustrating day and wasn’t operating, at the moment, with all of his marbles intact.
So Michael walked into the bedroom.
“How ya doin’, hon?”
“I’m not feeling good,” Jan replied as she repositioned her heating pad.
“I’m sorry, dear,” Michael said sincerely.
But then he completely and utterly lost his mind by asking,
“What’s for dinner?”
“What do you mean ‘What’s for dinner’? Can’t you see I’m in pain? I can’t get out of this bed,” Jan said with accusation and exasperation.
Did this offer Michael a hint of what he should do? One would think so but, no, it did not.
“Well, can you take something for it and maybe help drum up something in the kitchen? My day has been rotten and I’m starving.”
Jan slightly bolted from the bed, wincing in pain.
“I’ve had a miserable day, too, Michael. Do you think you are the only person on the planet who has had a bad day? Do you think you are the only person in the world who needs some help today?”
“Honey, you’re letting your emotions get the best of you. I’ll just call and order a pizza.”
I believe we have already established that this is the route Michael should have taken the moment he walked in the front door. But you see, Michael has had a rough day and what he really needs is to be beaten in an argument by his wife tonight. Oh, he doesn’t believe he will be beaten but Michael is about to learn when there is a full moon and a high tide, it would behoove him to hit the deck.
“I am not letting MY emotions get to me, Michael. YOU are getting to me. I swear, if I hear one…ONE flippant right side, left side brain comment from you tonight I am going to come out of my skin and rip your mouth off of your face.”
“Jan, hon, there’s no sense in getting violent just because you’re having your period. Every woman goes through it.”
“I am NOT every woman, Michael. Not EVERY woman goes through this type of pain every, single month and not EVERY woman is married to an employed two year-old. If you do not back off now I swear to God you won’t TOUCH this bed tonight.”
“Why are you over-reacting? All I did was ask you what we were having for dinner.”
“It is not HOW you asked, Michael, it is the WAY you asked, you condescending wuss.”
“WUSS, huh, condescending WUSS,” Michael yelled as he stormed through the house to fetch the cordless phone.
You could hear Michael thud throughout the house as he made his way back to the bedroom.
“You want pizza, Jan? YOU call!”
“Who said I wanted pizza? I can barely stomach YOU! You’re the one who’s hungry. Will it hurt your fingers too much to dial seven little numbers and order a pizza or should I call 911 and tell them your fingers are broken and you need emergency assistance?”
No one ordered pizza that night. As a matter of fact, neither Michael nor Jan had dinner or conversation for the remainder of the evening. Michael didn’t get kicked out of bed but he huddled close to the edge of his side of the bed all night long.
But Michael and Jan have been married for only a short time so, although this argument seems outlandish and unreasonable, it is very common.
There is great hope for a long, enjoyable marriage between Michael and Jan. Many prayers and good thoughts will be directed to the future relationship of this couple because what Michael and Jan do not know, at this point, is that this will be Jan’s last period.
For nine months.
Then all hell is going to break loose.
