Ringling Bros. Elephants Respond to Ignorant Activists
Vienna, Va. (Just Laugh) – After catching wind of another harsh animal cruelty suit filed against their employer, a statement released by a representative of the elephants’ union not only dispels any allegations, but also aims to set the record straight and put animal rights activists in their place once and for all…
“Stop sticking your pasty noses where they don’t belong!” was the message of dozens of circus elephants after hearing about the latest legal actions from the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. “We’ve got things pretty sweet here – we have a huge fan base, we get all the free food we can eat, and we get to travel the world – our buddies back in the wild envy us! Don’t go mucking up a good thing – worry about your own kind…”
The ASPCA was not available for comment, but is said to currently be seeking out new charity cases including fire and police canines, Hollywood starlights, and anyone else who’s lives they can disrupt through the miracle of the American legal system.
