This one is probably most popular among our elderly couples, who seem to still remember the value of the penny from their day and age...

Perhaps someone needs to drop these folks a memo that, although back in the day Lincoln's portrait could get them a six-pack of soda, ten candy bars and a yugo, times have changed!  Or you could just drop them in a pile in their driveway on your way out like everyone else does...

Pennies?  What can you buy for a penny these days?  Even the guys from 10-10-220 would tell you a penny isn't worth shit.  Here's an idea.  Take the pennies these fools give you and throw them in their lawn. 

That'll make a nice treat for them next time they try to mow...