I hate winter.  As mild as it is up here in the frozen tundra right now, I still hate any weather that gets below, oh say fifty degrees at night.  Flannel and I just don't get along...

Put on a copy of The Beach Boys' Kokomo, get your travel agent on the phone and order us some much needed relief!  We'll even be more than happy to send postcards, coconuts and odd, novelty items traded by the locals as a thank-you!  If you think Just Laugh magazine is funny now, just wait until you get a taste of Just Laugh: Caribbean Style!

Ok, it'll probably be the same caliber as you're already used to, but we'll be drunk on the beach, surrounded by beach honeys, so at least it'll be amusing to us...

I want to go somewhere warm.  I can't complain too much.  At least here in Northern Michigan we don't have snow and it's 30 degrees.  That's better than I can usually say that this time of year.  But you should still feel bad for us.  So book us a vacation to somewhere nice and warm, ok?  The power of Christ compells you!!