My Christmas gift list is taking shape nicely, thank you very much.  So far, The List includes a 31 inch TV, a DVD player, digital camera, some overpriced Microsoft software, a memory card for my handheld PC, a cell phone, a new printer, and a color Gameboy.

I’ll probably get a tie.

Not that I care.  I’m not saying I don’t want these things.  I really really want every item on The List.  I’m just saying that it’s a lot of fun making up The List.  I get to thumb through glossy electronics magazines, browse all the cool hi-tech web sites, and stand transfixed in front of this or that gadget at Radio Shack.  I also love to make scary threats to my wife.  We’ll be standing in the electronics department at Sears, in front of the big screen televisions.  My wife will be looking bored, so I’ll casually say, "Honey, did you bring along the American Express card?  I was just wondering.  And we might need the Visa, too."

My life is already full of electronic gadgets.  When I shut off the lights at night to go to bed, my home is brightly illuminated by a great number of tiny red and green LED’s.  On the bright side (ha ha! a little lighting joke, there), we do save money on Christmas lights.  And don’t get me started on all the digital clocks attached to various appliances in our house, none reading exactly the same time.  Who decided that a microwave oven needed to tell time, anyway?

The one appliance that probably should show the time is a VCR.  My wife yells at me when I forget to tape Touched By An Angel for her, so a digital clock on the VCR would be handy.   Unfortunately, neither of our 2 VCRs have clock displays.  I think the VCR industry was tired of late night talk show hosts making stupid jokes about how hard it is to set the VCR clock, so they just took them off.

I’ve been hearing a lot lately about kitchen appliances that will be wired into the Internet.  For example, a company called Electrolux announced early this year that they would be offering a "Screenfridge."  This refrigerator comes with a screen-based PC in its door and a built-in modem for connecting to the Internet.  The vendor said it would be able to monitor food quantities and automatically order more from Internet-based grocers.  Imagine, beer and Cheetos arriving on your doorstep on an hourly basis!  Other possible applications include connecting to recipe databases and non-food functions such as online banking.  I wonder if it will let you play Quake?

The Sreenfridge has got to be one of the silliest gadgets I’ve heard of in a long time.  I almost didn’t even add it to my Christmas list!  But hey, it probably costs at least a little less than our new car, so why not?

I just know I’m getting a tie.

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