WASHINGTON, D.C. (Just Laugh) - A rather uniform ceremony of pardoning the official Whitehouse turkey took a nasty turn this afternoon as the bird wrestled itself free from the grasp of its Secret Service keepers and roamed free throughout the nation's capital for several hours. The poultry was finally captured and removed from the premises, but not before "pardoning" President Bush's desk, three chairs in the executive lobby and a very confused Dick Cheney.

It is said that the Vice President has been moved to a secure location until the matter has been thoroughly investigated and the carpet cleaned.
 

Convict Freed with Monopoly Playing Piece

BOSTON (Just Laugh) - A convict made U.S. Judicial History today when he was freed from his 69-year jail sentence by presenting the judge with a "Get out of Jail Free" card from the popular Monopoly board game. The man was convicted guilty of ripping the "DO NOT RIP UNDER PENALTY OF LAW" tickets off of every mattress in the dorms in Donkey Kong Junior College. Apparently, he acquired the GET OUT OF JAIL FREE card from a game of Strip Monopoly with his cellmate at Balls and Chain Prison for Slightly Effeminate Men in Provincetown, MA.  <<FULL STORY>>
 

Cellular Technologies to Go Completely Automated in 2003

SAN FRANCISCO (Just Laugh) - An anonymous source from a major communications service this morning reported that plans are being formed to streamline wireless phone transmissions by as soon as next year. In addition to new games, ringtones and text-messaging options, users will soon also have the ability to "Fly Solo" - a new term which is said to become an overnight phenomenon. After activating this feature, the customer's phone will proceed to dial a random number in their personal address book automatically. Upon reaching the voicemail box of this person, the phone will leave a brief, but sincere message stating that it really misses the other person and will try back later. Having completed this call, the phone will then call another random person in the list and continue the process, all the while coincidentally missing the returning calls left by other phones.

"It's going to be fantastic!" boasted the CEO of this mysterious company as he rapidly scribbled a sketch depicting phones around the world leaving each other messages. "It'll be just like real life," he continued, "yet so much more efficient! What's that ringing??? It sounds like the future calling, but that's ok - just take a message and we'll get back to it shortly..."
 

Post Office Blamed for Delayed Wedding

DEXTER, Wi. (Just Laugh) - Robert Allen, a 40-year-old contractor, has to wait even longer to get married. The blame for the delay has been put on the post office.

"People think the post office lost the invitations, but that's not the case," said Hank Goober, Allen's best man.  <<FULL STORY>>
 

"It's going to be crazy out there!" local man reports...

MINNEAPOLIS (Just Laugh) - As the Thanksgiving holiday comes to a close, anticipation rises as preparations begin for the following day, also known as the busiest shopping day of the year. The day after Thanksgiving is one commonly associated with crowded shopping centers, insanely-long lines, and of course, stellar deals, but some citizens are not really sure if it's worth all of the fuss...  <<FULL STORY>>

12.14.02 - Just a brief holiday addition before the big issue next week...

Not quite feeling up to sending out Christmas cards this year? Maybe you'd like to, but you're a poor college student? Take a look at Just Laugh's eCards, with selections filled with laughter and holiday blessings from the names and faces you've grown to love around here...and they're free! Just imagine the smiles and the joy that will be spread as your friends and family open their inboxes to find your personalized eCard specially for them...

And after you're done with that, maybe you might be up for a little bowling???

Elf Bowling 3

11.27.02 - We're back and boy do we have an issue for you!

When it rains, it pours, but luckily around here, it's been raining comedy lately and we're lovin' it! Actually, it's been more or less snowing like crazy, but who's counting? All in the same, we've got a great presentation here for you in the berth of Thanksgiving, starting off with the latest episode of Deep Fried, Live! This month, Tako actually finds himself competing in a very spooky Halloween cookoff...and, well, rather than spoil the whole thing, maybe it'd just be easier if you watched it yourself! Just remember, it's only a cooking show...

This also happens to be a huge month in the gaming industry, as the titans prepare for their favorite holiday of all - Christmas! First up is the next in line from what has, without a doubt, been the most popular gaming series of all time. That's right, it's time for the latest installment in the Elf Bowling series from nStorm, or at least it's almost that time. Until then, maybe the official Elf Bowling 3 trailer will help to calm you over?

But wait - that's not all! If you simply can't wait until EB3 is ready, then the folks over at KewlBox have got your back with a new elf title of their own, only theirs is just a tad bit different! It's a bit difficult to accurately describe, but let's just say that it contains penguins, a lot of spanking, and even an appearance by the very sexy Santa Nicole...this one is sure to be your new holiday favorite...

And we'll even have more coming up soon as the holidays progress, so check back often to find the latest and greatest time killers and stress relievers to help get you through to New Years! Happy Holidays!!!