BOSTON (Just Laugh) - A convict made U.S. Judicial History today when he was freed from his 69-year jail sentence by presenting the judge with a "Get out of Jail Free" card from the popular Monopoly board game. The man was convicted guilty of ripping the "DO NOT RIP UNDER PENALTY OF LAW" tickets off of every mattress in the dorms in Donkey Kong Junior College. Apparently, he acquired the GET OUT OF JAIL FREE card from a game of Strip Monopoly with his cellmate at Balls and Chain Prison for Slightly Effeminate Men in Provincetown, MA.

The presiding judge in the case, Judge Reinhold, only gave a brief comment, "Dude, it said Get out of Jail Free. For me to send him to jail when it very clearly said that he can get out of jail would be as unconstitutional as me staring in another Santa Clause movie." You will be able to see Judge Reinhold in The Santa Clause 2 coming to a theater near you this holiday season.

Local politicians are giving very mixed reactions to the ruling. Among those against the decision, was McDonald's mascot, Mayor McCheese. "This ruling is preposterous. How am I going to comfort the Fry Guys when the Hamburglar strikes, if all he has to do to get out of jail is to buy a Monopoly game? I mean, I can send out my head hitman, the Grimace, to take care of the situation. But, do I really have to resort to violence just so people can enjoy their Big Mac?" The Mayor failed to comment when asked exactly what species of beast the Grimace is.

We also caught up with Dan Quayle and asked him his thoughts of the decision. It was reported that he said, "That sucks, dude," before going back to staring at the pretty pictures in his book Learn to Spell with Mr. Potatohead (or is that Potatoehead?).

Local law enforcement is expecting an increase in criminal activity with this newfound loophole in the US judicial system. Even Barney Fife, the fictitious television deputy who prided himself on never carrying a gun, applied for a gun permit today. His exact words were "Shucks, you can't be too careful. Gawrsh!"

Coincidentally, since the incident, the IRS also claims that it received one check for $75 in the mail. The party (who's name, Ronald Ackerman, will remain anonymous) claims that he owed the IRS that money after landing on the Luxury Tax space during Family Game Night last Thursday.

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