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Volume 3, Issue 17  ~Your Source for Humor on the Internet ~   December 18, 2002

Melvin Durai is an Indiana-based writer and humorist. A native of India, he grew up in Zambia and moved to the U.S. in 1982. His weekly humor columns are carried by a number of newspapers and websites.

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Many Reasons to be Thankful
by: Melvin Durai


I love Thanksgiving because it reminds Americans to be thankful. Just go to any home on Thanksgiving Day and you will meet people who are thankful -- thankful they have an opportunity, in this great country, to stuff themselves with food. Yes, many people spend the entire day being thankful. I wish everyone around the world could be just as thankful -- and not just once a year. There are many reasons to be thankful, even if you live in Beirut. Here are just a few:

  • Be thankful if you have food on your plate, if you aren't constantly hungry, if you don't lick your lips whenever you spot your neighbor's Chihuahua.
  • Be thankful if you enjoy freedom of speech, if you can write a play portraying the president as a horse's behind, if you don't have to write your next play with a pen up yours.
  • Be thankful if you have an unlimited supply of water, if your plants are never thirsty, if your dog drinks often from a bowl, one that you don't flush.
  • Be thankful if you have freedom of worship, if you can attend a church, temple or mosque without the slightest fear, if you can decorate your car with stickers that say "Jesus is Lord," "Allah is great" or "Elvis is king."
  • Be thankful if you're smarter than the average teen, if you can find Oman, Sudan, Kenya and Samoa on a globe, if you don't think they're parts of speech, as in: "Oman, I'm Sudan tired! Kenya give me Samoa water?"
  • Be thankful if you have health insurance, if you can see a doctor anytime you wish, if your doctor didn't get his medical training through the Internet.
  • Be thankful if you're fairly healthy, if you don't need a file for all your prescriptions, if your medicine cabinet isn't as big as President Bush's Cabinet.
  • Be thankful if you don't face discrimination, if the country club doesn't exclude you because of the color of your skin, if the hot date doesn't reject you because of the color of your teeth.
  • Be thankful if you have a loving family, if they accept you the way you are, if they're trying hard to forget the way you were.
  • Be thankful if you have no serious addictions, if you can survive an entire week without smoking, drinking or playing bingo, if you show no signs of withdrawal, not even when visiting the bank.
  • Be thankful if you have a decent job, if it comes with many benefits, if the best benefit isn't free counseling after the boss harasses you.
  • Be thankful if you have a roof over your head, if the roof is wide enough to cover all your belongings, if you don't have to put the roof in storage whenever there's a tornado warning.
  • Be thankful if you have a retirement plan, if the plan includes annual vacations to an exotic locale, if the plan doesn't include the words "Would you like fries with that?"
  • Be thankful if you have a means of transportation, if you can take your family on a long trip to the country, if the trip refreshes their souls and doesn't wear out their soles.
  • Be thankful if you appreciate what you have, if you don't take your blessings for granted, if you spend part of your life -- even a small part -- helping others less fortunate.



Copyright 2002 Melvin Durai
www.funnycolumns.com




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