BOSTON (Just Laugh) - Does the holidays have you more befuddled than a senior citizen trying to determine the sex of Marilyn Manson? What gifts are you going to buy? What are you going to serve? Most importantly, how are you going to get rid of these blasted Thanksgiving turkey leftovers??? If you are one of the millions of Americans who are on their 21st day of turkey jello, here are some refreshing tips to get those turkey leftovers out of sight, and out of mind.

1) Leftover turkey drumsticks make absolutely darling Christmas ornaments. All you have to do is put a hook on them and hang them on a tree. Away from proper refrigeration, they will sure to grow festive red and green mold by Christmas.

2) What do you get that person that has everything? Why a Turkey Chia PetÒ , of course! All you need is a slice of turkey breast and your germ-ridden, rugrat cousin to wipe some of his boogers on it (or just find some on your white leather couch). It will start sprouting green crap better than if you gave it Via-groÒ .

3) Speaking of that germ-ridden cousin, what is the perfect gift for his parents? As little kids often smell like a combination of sour milk, stepped-in doggie doo-doo, and two-weeks-past-the-expiration-date goat cheese, what better gift than a turkey air freshener for the family station wagon? After all, even 3 month old turkey smells better than some little kids that I know.

4) For the crafter in the family, nothing quite says "I love you" than a nice, warm turkey quilt.

5) If all else fails, put the leftover turkey in the fruitcake. Don't worry about the flavor. No one eats it anyway.

6) Still some leftovers after the fruitcake? Put it in the egg nog. If you put enough brandy in it, they'll be too drunk to know the difference.

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