Rating: (3 of 4)

Ok, so I don't get any points for originality in my choice for this edition's movie review... But how can you ask a geek such as myself to resist an opportunity like this? You really can't. So, without further ado, here it is:

Watching Episode II is like watching a poorly-written, badly-acted second prequel to a classic epic sci-fi movie trilogy. That about sums up the experience... That being said, it's not a total loss. This movie's failings have been discussed endlessly by other critics, so I'll mostly focus on its triumphs. The overall plot is quite good, for one thing. It's meaty, original, and rather complex. In fact, I admit that I didn't quite fully understand the plot while I was watching the film; perhaps I was letting its shortcomings distract me too much. Upon discussion with a friend, however, my points of confusion were cleared up, and my appreciation for the movie grew.

Naturally, this being a George Lucas picture, the special audio and visual effects are also impressive. Several of the aliens and droids communicated with voices that I found intriguing, and the abundant artificially-infused backdrops are convincing almost without exception. This episode is also the first installment in the series to feature a fully computer-generated Yoda, and he looks pretty good. I have to say, though, that I am getting very tired of movies that feature organic CGI beasties. Jurassic Park started the trend with its dinosaurs, of course, and the trend has continued in the intervening 9 years. However, it seems to me that during this time, the quality of integration of the CGI characters into real environments hasn't really improved. CGI characters still look like just that: CGI characters. It's distracting. And in my opinion, it's ruining movies that might otherwise be all right. I didn't particularly like Peter Jackson's The Fellowship of the Ring, for instance, in part because I know that the shoddy graphics used for the Moria troll, balrog, and so on, won't stand up to the test of time. I was happy for the success of FotR, but only because I hope it makes the franchise look lucrative for a remake, possibly in 20 years or so, when someone is willing to do it right.

But I digress. Back to the strengths of Episode II. While the "love story" part of the movie suffers from the aforementioned weak writing and sub-par acting, most of the parts that involve neither writing nor acting do not fail to entertain. With the possible exception of a muddled chase scene near the beginning of the film, the action sequences are exciting and actually pretty cool. I'm conflicted about another scene too, but to reveal which scene that is would be too big a spoiler. I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight if I told you about it. Even without these two scenes, though, there's plenty of excitement to go around in Clones, and the movie is lots of fun.

And then there's the obvious fact that Episode II is a part of the near-sacred Star Wars franchise. To see the story come together, to know now that, in Episode V, <this character> is actually related to <this other character>, when we never knew that before, or to see seminal events taking place in familiar settings... These sorts of things always just makes my wang tingle. I think an update to the English language is due. There's currently no word for that special feeling you can only get while watching events take place in a non-linear fashion. Memento does it, Pulp Fiction does it, and all good prequels do it. Clones is no exception. It's good watchin'...

Attack of the Clones does suffer from some regrettable problems, but the overall experience of seeing some of the most beloved fictional characters of the last quarter-century come together is a worthwhile way to spend a bit of your time and money. It's not going to change your life, but you should see it. It's pretty cool.

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