I just heard the word "amazing" a minute ago, and that made me think about my days of completing mazes when I was younger. Now, don't expect me to get sentimental here. After all, I'm talking about mazes, not Marmaduke. As much as I would like to write, "Oh, I remember the good times when I could kick back and enjoy a good maze while the sun set in the horizon," that was never the case. I'd simply grab a pen, complete the maze and really not think about it again, until another maze came along. I think that's how writing works, too, except without the maze part...

The best thing about a maze was knowing that if you couldn't figure out how to get from the start to the finish, you could always do it backwards, and it was much easier that way. Imagine if life let you do that. You could collect a pension and then get married before you even become potty-trained or learn to talk. But just think of the mess that would create - literally. I guess that's where that famous saying comes from. You know, the one about the maze: "If you can get through a maze, then you've made it through the maze, and that means the maze is good and you finished it, and that's the end of the maze until you start another maze, and then you can finish that one, too, and I like mazes." Ain't that the truth!

But that's enough about mazes. Let's think about the color "maize" for a minute or two. This color, sort of a combination of yellow and orange, was one of the only crayons in my box of 64 that was never broken, probably because: a) I never used it, and b) no one wanted to borrow it, not even the kid who ate crayons or the one who stuck them up his nose. I'd imagine that when Crayola first decided to put maize in their boxes, they thought it'd be the biggest thing since blue, with typical conversations going something like this:

First Person: Oh boy, I'm really happy with how this picture is turning out. I haven't even colored outside of the lines yet.

Second Person: Yeah, yeah, yeah... Are you done with the maize or not?

First Person: Well, it is a farm I am coloring here. If you borrow my maize, how I am supposed to color the maize?

Second Person: Use goldenrod.

First Person: No, you use goldenrod. Seriously, I hate how you are always stealing my maize. Don't make me take out my axe, please...for a second time.

Okay, so maybe that's a little extreme. But you have to understand, I've never created a fictitious conversation about maize before, nor have I created a fictitious maze. When it comes down to it, there's a maze inside all of us, really. Some people like to finish the maze so they can get things straightened out. Others like to keep it the way it is, either because they don't know how to solve it or they like to have the confusion. Whatever you decide, please realize - and this is especially important, even if you're ALF - that the answers are always in the back of the book...

So don't put up a front...

But I digress.

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