Dr. I. C. Hart, head of the Department of Medical Ethics and part time
marriage counselor, shrugged his shoulders, "Cloning is like cockfighting
and cowtipping. If we ban it, people are going to find ways to do it
anyway." It should be mentioned that Dr. I.C. Hart currently resides in
the small town of Huh?, Arkansas.
These are the following rules and regulations set forth by the Department
of Medical Ethics.
RULES OF CLONING
1) All cloners must be residents of Earth. In the event that a space
alien would like to clone oneself, he/she must be a Resident Alien for at
least one light year and obtain the proper Duplicate Alien papers from
the Department of Planetary Immigration. If the space alien obtains the
proper documentation, he or she must act as discreet as possible while on
Earth. Any alien impregnations, hostages, or left over crop circles** may
cause the alien to lose cloning privileges on Earth.
2) All cloners must be mortal. Immortal clonings cause excessive wear and
tear on the cloning machines. Under no circumstances can Supreme Beings,
angels, elves, holiday gift/egg bearers, or Bob Hope be admitted for
cloning.
3) At no time may cloners and clonees wear matching outfits. It's just
too tacky.
4) All female cloners must have a cup size of at least DD and all male
cloners must wear at least an extra large jock strap. Those wearing full
figured bras, and "big and tall" jock straps will receive 3 extra clones
free.
5) Under absolutely no circumstance can Tammy Fay Baker be admitted for
cloning.
6) All cloners must show basic cognitive function. Therefore, cloners
must be free of tickets to Kangaroo Jack.
7) Cloners must follow the basic cloning rules. All handi-clones must
obtain a valid handi-clone parking sticker for their clone-mobile, all
clones must never run with scissors, and all clones must only clone one
hour after eating.
8) In the event of duplicate body parts, the doctor must do as much as
possible to remove the deformation. This offer is void for all
reproductive organs.
