Are your bedroom fetishes something that would make Madonna blow chunks? Does shrimping mean something other than going to Long John Silvers for dinner? Have you ever given a rosary job? If so, than you are too familiar to these movies. For the rest of you who have heard of John Waters, but can’t find his videos at Blockbuster, this guide is for you.

MONDO TRASHO

The most obscure of the Waters feature films, Mondo Trasho is in a class of its own. It is a completely silent film and it certainly fits its name. Is this a good thing? I say "yes" with severe reservations.

You got to go into this movie realizing two things. This is John Waters’ first feature length film, and John Waters drug use at this time makes Dean Martin look suma cum laude graduate of Alcoholics Anonymous. The film is also called The Gutter Film as it was filmed in gutters and alleys of Baltimore. The plot...wait, there really isn’t one. There’s something about a big blond drag queen, a starlet who gets "shrimp raped" (forced toe-sucking for all you prudes), and a nude hitchhiker. Classic John Waters, maybe. Conventional John Waters, it’s not. This film is more surreal than any of John Waters other films. 90% of people won’t get anything out of this movie. It’s the other 10% that keep this film around today. You better have a real fucked-up sense of cinematic merit before going into this film. You better be able to say with a straight face that Porkys has better cinematography than Citizen Kane. If you can‘t do that, don’t bother with this film.

The reason that this film is a prize (even with people who find the movie revolting) is the exquisite soundtrack. John Waters scored the soundtrack (illegally) with songs from his record collection. Every decade of music up to 1969 was used. It is definitely the best soundtrack I have ever heard. In fact, I have heard stories that people often put on this movie during parties just for the soundtrack. I’m sure this works great, but it might be odd to watch chicken decapitations during your sister’s baby shower regardless of how "cool" the tunes are (Reviewer’s note: Yes, the chickens are really decapitated. No special effects). Of course, with some baby showers I’ve been to, this might actually enhance the experience.

Of all the people I’ve met during my lifetime, I would probably only recommend this movie to one or two of them (and both of them are too busy tripping on ‘shrooms). If you have a very perverted sense of humor, indulge. To the rest of you, I’ll quote South Park‘s Officer Barbrady.

"Move along, there’s nothing to see here..."

Here we have the only John Waters’ movie you’ll find in the horror section. It’s also his most offensive movie. Primitive, amateurish, bold, and sharp, Multiple Maniacs proves to be a very acquired taste.

Divine (John Waters’ lead drag queen) is a head of a freak show who’s mission is to murder members of its audience (yet people still come and see them. These are the type of people that got an F in homeroom). There is a lot of highly offensive humor. In fact, if you are even slightly Christian, you’d be doing yourself good to stay away from this film, unless, you have a fondness for rosary jobs. Though I try to keep my reviews as clean as possible, I know many of you people are asking right now "What the hell is a rosary job?" Well, basically, it’s getting fucked by a rosary. Hey, you asked.

In many ways this film is even more shocking than Pink Flamingos because it doesn’t really have that "nauseating fun" aspect behind it. While Pink Flamingos has more shocks per minute, the satire drowns it out slightly. There is no question that Pink Flamingos is a comedy, so the shock value is often toned down because of the humorous undertones. The comedy in Multiple Maniacs is not nearly as prevalent. A lot of times you don’t know if you’re suppose to be laughing or appalled. This is why it is much more successful as a shock film. It’s these serious undertones which can cause me to guarantee that this movie has a much higher "squirming in your seat" factor than any of John Waters previous work. I mean that in a good way.

I lump this in the same category as Mondo Trasho because it is more surreal than anything. Also, like Mondo Trasho, I think this film will cater more toward the artsy/expiremental film crowd (like David Lynch fans). This film is filled with imagery (whether Waters intended it or not) and this makes it a worthwhile theatrical appearance. However, this film has more fans than Mondo Trasho because the "bottom line" is much easier to get. That, and Divine gets raped by a giant lobster. (I kid you not).

Not for the faint of heart, Multiple Maniacs was made for the film fan that thinks he/she has seen everything. This movie is the next step from Pink Flamingos; a step that should only be made by the most masochistic of movie goers. Only recommended if you enjoy being shocked into incoherence (anyone who claims he/she didn’t flinch during the coat hanger scene is a liar), Multiple Maniacs shows no mercy. If you’re daring, pop in this flick. Say your prayers first.

"Like a septic tank explosion, it has to be seen to be believed."

A reviewer said this about John Waters’ smash trash hit, Pink Flamingos, over 25 years ago. If you think we are getting desensitized to gore, violence, etc. in the movies, pop in Pink Flamingos. It’s surprising how a movie made 30 years ago can still make you lose your lunch, dinner, and breakfast. Of course, this isn’t a bad thing.

Chances are, if you heard about this flick, you also heard about the notoriously vile activities that go on in this movie. Yes, a 300-lb drag queen eats dog shit with no special effects (unless you consider pot-ingestion, special effects). Yes, someone fucked a chicken, also without special effects. In fact, the chicken ended up really dying from being fucked and they grilled it and ate it a couple scenes later. Oh, and that bowel movement that Babs receives from the post office is, in fact, a real bowel movement (Divine actually took a shit in the box prior to the scene for cinematic posterity). Yes, this is all true. Back then, there was no "animal cruelty" laws or laws against eating shit. Not to mention, back then, John Waters was really, really fucked up on drugs.

So now, you are either repulsed or intrigued. If you are repulsed, end your reading of this review right now. If you are intrigued, then pull up a chair. Pink Flamingos, in all its vile glory, is not a bad film at all. It is a very low budget film, but did the most of its budget. Divine plays the vile Babs Johnson, who holds the title as The Filthiest Person Alive. She lives with her mother in a trailer park. Her mom lives in a child’s playpen and has a bizarre fetish for eggs. However, Babs’ life is soon to be disrupted as she is about to realize she has some hostile competition for the title "The Filthiest Person Alive."

Though the film is the blackest satirical comedy I have ever seen, I never laugh at it. This isn’t to say any less about the film. I just find that it’s so dark that it is mesmerizing instead of hysterical. Some will disagree and say it is the funniest thing they ever saw. To each, their own. I still enjoy it just as much as those fans, but in a different way. This film is also the only film I can not view while eating. Again, this is not a bad thing. Having negative emotions during a film can be just as fulfilling as laughing your ass off during one. Much like horror fans who want to be petrified in a movie, trash film fans want to be repulsed. These traditionally negative emotions can be fun when released in the safety of a theater or your own home. Pink Flamingos does exactly that.

Only if you are a true lover of being shocked into incoherence, will you even have a chance of enjoying Pink Flamingos. This film is the ultimate niche film which is only to be enjoyed by people who are convicted of assholism, enjoy being nauseated, or have fetishes for the most disgusting of bodily functions . If this sounds like your bag, then by all means go for it. For the right psychopath, this movie can be the most fun ride you ever had by a piece of celluloid trash.

A celluloidal trash-god like Pink Flamingos is a tough act to follow. Not only did Female Trouble do it successfully, but it became undoubtedly the most beloved John Waters’ film ever. How the hell did that happen? Well, pull up a chair and I’ll tell you the story.

After Pink Flamingos, it seemed as that there was no shock left. Well, that might be true. So, John Waters took a slightly different angle and came up with Female Trouble. While still having some shock, this film’s true attraction is the hysterical "one liners" and the unforgettable characters. Divine plays the maniacal Dawn Davenport who turns to a life of crime after she does not receive the cha-cha heels she wanted for Christmas (after all, wouldn’t that turn ANYONE into a delinquent?). With her bratty daughter (played by Mink Stole) and her equally "bad-assed" girlfriends, Dawn becomes a celebrity after the owners of the Lipstick Beauty Salon use Dawn as the star of their latest piece which suggests that "crime is beauty."

Divine clearly plays the best role of her career. Dawn is a remarkably complex character for Waters’ early work and Divine pulls off the character brilliantly. All the Dreamlanders are back including Cookie Mueller, Mary Vivian Pierce, David Lochary, and Edith Massey. This is the strongest of John Waters’ flicks at this time (meaning 1974), surpassing Pink Flamingos by miles (which was basically little more than a half-assed storyline with a hell of a lot of shock value). Mink Stole was positively hysterical as Taffy (the car accident game was too funny for words). Though overacting occurs, it is hysterical and adds to the comic value.

This film stands out as different from all the other Waters’ films for many reasons. This is the first film to show the viewers how wonderfully perverted his brain actually operates. This may sound strange as Pink Flamingos came before this. However, in his prior films, Waters’ was not concerned with laying himself out on a slab. Instead he concentrated on dealing the most shocks as possible. Let’s face it. You don’t need to be a perverted genius to do this; all you need to have is a creative imagination. However, Female Trouble, has much smarter dialogue which truly lays out Waters’ wonderfully twisted mind for the viewing population. Not to mention, this film has perhaps the most unpredictable ending ever for a Waters’ film.

This film is a John Waters film made only for Waters’ film fans. While trash films would likely enjoy it, only the true Waters’ diehards will love it. This isn’t for Pink Flamingos fans or just people who think he’s "kinda cool." Only true fans will appreciate the complete beauty of this work. If this is you, then put on those cha cha heels and enjoy.

Tune in to our next issue for part two:
"The Films that People Actually Know About: The Middle John Waters Years"



Filmography links and data courtesy of The Internet Movie Database.

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