LOS ANGELES (Just Laugh) - The majority of Americans will agree that dealings with both Iraq and its president, Saddam Hussein, have gone on for far too long and that a solution needs to be implemented immediately before further trouble ensues. These same thoughts have even traversed into the mindsets of several Hollywood actors, including "Die Hard" star Bruce Willis, who actually offered his services to the US Navy, but was turned down because of his age. Never willing to let down his fans, or his country for that matter, Willis has opted to take matters into his own hands...  <<FULL STORY>>
 

NBC to Air New Reality Program: "The News"

BURBANK, Calif. (Just Laugh) - NBC announced today its plans to air a new reality TV program tentatively called "The News." Described as "similar in scope to other reality shows," The News will show real people in real situations around the world. "We'll offer stories that reflect the best aspects of other reality shows," said creator Neil Shapiro. "For example, one night we might visit an impoverished nation and see how the people there survive, much like Survivor. Another night, a government report may resemble The Mole, or possibly Joe Millionaire."  <<FULL STORY>>
 

Freedom of Speech Deemed Unpatriotic

BOSTON (Just Laugh) - A recent uproar at a major fast food restaurant has got Washington's pencil pushers working overtime this weekend examining the Constitutional aspects of the fried food industry. It seems that a middle-aged woman in her late 30s took offense to her surroundings while waiting in line to place her own order as Jared Smalley, a sophmore at a local university, requested that his order be "super-sized." The cashier responded that it would take a few minutes to prepare said order, as they were waiting for a new batch of oil to warm up, which didn't seem like much of a problem to Smalley, yet apparently posed serious issues with the woman behind him...

On-lookers cited that the woman began shouting in a fit of rage that "...this was the reason that we've got so many problems with Iraq in the first place - it's all about the oil!" Although several crew members, including Adam Christianson, the Team Leader on-duty at the time, attempted to calm the woman, she continued to rant about the downfall of society and our impending doom until eventually escorted from the building by local law enforcement. After making several phone calls and landing her case upon the docket in the supreme court, the woman noticed that she was quite hungry from such a workout and proceeded to gorge herself on corn chips and chocolate frosting before passing out on the couch for the third time that week.
 

Disney Sues Helium Atom for Copyright Infringement

ORLANDO (Just Laugh) - Walt Disney Co. took aggressive action yesterday by filing suit against the helium atom for infringement of copyright. Attorney R. Lee Ghufi, representing Disney, held a brief press conference following the court appearance to provide details of the complaint.

"We feel helium has intentionally co-opted an image that is legally protected under U.S. Copyright laws," Mr. Ghufi said. He offered as evidence an artistic rendition of the helium atom, which consists of two electrons circling a nucleus. The resemblance to the Disney icon Mickey Mouse was self-evident.  <<FULL STORY>>

And just a fair warning - in only a few short weeks, our most favorite holiday of all time will be upon us - April Fool's Day - and you can bet that we'll have something very special ready for your enjoyment! Consider yourselves warned...