ORLANDO (Just Laugh) - Walt Disney Co. took aggressive action yesterday by filing suit against the helium atom for infringement of copyright. Attorney R. Lee Ghufi, representing Disney, held a brief press conference following the court appearance to provide details of the complaint.

"We feel helium has intentionally co-opted an image that is legally protected under U.S. Copyright laws," Mr. Ghufi said. He offered as evidence an artistic rendition of the helium atom, which consists of two electrons circling a nucleus. The resemblance to the Disney icon Mickey Mouse was self-evident.

Many scientists are protesting loudly in response to the suit. "It's absurd," said professor Donal Duchke of M.I.T. "You can't blame helium for a two-dimensional artistic rendition any more than you can blame it for having two electrons. It just does."

"I don't see how they can win this," said chemist Biggs Bonet of the National Academy of Science. "It doesn't even really look like that. The electrons would be more accurately depicted by an outer shell, like an M&M." (M&M/Mars inc. had no comment.)

Legal experts are less doubtful. "They may have a case," said attorney Barney Dinsar. "They established precedent last year with the Uncle Remus case." In that case, Disney successfully sued the NAACP for employing colored people over the age of sixty who bore a resemblance to the classic Disney character "Uncle Remus" from the film "Song of the South." The NAACP is appealing the decision.

"We don't expect much," said Mr. Ghufi, "just that helium discontinue the practice of having two electrons." When it was suggested that helium would no longer be helium if it altered its nuclear composition, Ghufi replied angrily, "that is not our problem."

While helium had no official comment, it had reportedly obtained the services of Alan Dershowitz.

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