WASHINGTON, D.C. (Just Laugh) - As the war efforts in Iraq come to a close and the sense of terror begins to diminish back in the homeland, the questioning of Presidential prowess has finally come into the foreground once again, only this time President Bush himself has decided to settle this matter once and for all...  <<FULL STORY>>
 

Nearly Liberated Iraqis Question Liberation

BAGHDAD (Just Laugh) - On the verge of liberation, many Iraqis are having trouble deciding if liberation is the answer. This goes back to a press conference held by President Bush.

"Once liberated, Iraqis will feel what it's like to live in a democracy. They will be treated like Americans and have the same rights that Americans have," said Bush as he was trying to keep up with which camera had the red light on.  <<FULL STORY>>
 

American Children Getting Dumber by the Second

NEW YORK (Just Laugh) - Ask just about any Japanese elementary student what their national capital is and they'll proudly exclaim, "Tokyo!!!" but if you even try asking the same question of the average student in America and they'll proudly pop a cap in your ass for asking such a stupid question. Granted, they still won't know the answer, but at least it'll get you off their backs for a few minutes...

The teachers blame it on poor parenting, the parents blame it on television and that damn rock music, and Hollywood blames it on green, fuzzy space creatures from another dimension, but one thing's for certain - it's not going to get any better as long as the finger-pointing continues and if this keeps up, it won't be long before we're faced with a nation full of vegetables and zombies. Come to think of it, that wouldn't make a bad movie, would it?!
 

Local Cowboy Actually Marries His Own Horse

DALLAS (Just Laugh) - In a story that can be reported as either "...sad, really sad..." or "...just simply disgusting..." 24-year-old Peter "Big Pete" Dawson made the ultimate sacrifice for love, the laws of the west, and especially his dignity as he entered into the vows of holy matrimony with Pearl, the white stallion he had spent countless hours with out on the range over the past five years.

"We've been together since I turned 19," Peter told us, "and it honestly just made sense. She understands me on a totally different level that most people could never even see...and besides, "The first time I rode her, we took a few laps around the pasture bareback and it was a very special time that will always hold a place in my heart." The happy couple plans to honeymoon at The Happy Camel Dude Ranch for three days before proceeding on to Disney Land for Pearl's very first visit to the Magic Kingdom!

05.14.03 - Look what the cat dragged in...

Yes, we are aware that things have been a little less than on schedule these days, but we've got a really good excuse! You see, there were these green, fuzzy space creatures that literally took over our brainwaves and forced us to listen to the entire recorded works of Yanni backwards until we agreed to give them the secret formula...no, wait - maybe that was last year...

Anyways, even though we may not be cranking out the funny nearly as fast as we'd like to be for you, we do nonetheless feel responsible to give you at least something and hopefully this will help to fight the urge until we can get ourselves in gear again soon! How's that old saying go? If nothing else goes right, just blame it on the French...

Please note that while none of us officially hate the nation of France or any of its residents, our friends over at nStorm just have this nasty habit of churning out games that are simply too good to pass up! Nothing personal.

And while we've got your undivided attention, allow us to direct your eyes over to the new link for Another Tale of Two Summers... to your immediate right. Many of you may remember the first edition of our story from last summer and will be pleased to know that we're giving it another try this year and hope to have an even better turn out than before! Last year, we were able to gather the talents of some twenty-five writers to compose the story and this time we'd like to double it and even throw in some artwork as well...so if you happen to be somewhat of a writer (or artist!) yourself, take a second and consider this project to help cure your summertime blues. It's going to be a blast - trust us!!!

Reader's Poll...

In like a lion, out like a _______... lamb 33.3% much bigger, ornry lion 26.7% giant, mutant, nuclear clam 20.0% chocolate Easter bunny 6.7% billy goat 6.7% unemployed reality tv show host 6.7% Total Votes: 15     Version 2.02

One Nation, Extra Cheese: Your Guide to the Bestest Country Ever!
by: Modern Humorist

With Memorial Day being just around the corner and frantic searches for American flags and other symbols of patriotic intent getting swept up faster than the latest Britney Spears action figures, you may find it increasingly difficult to find an item worthy of expressing your true feelings for this great nation...

...until now! If you don't already own a copy of this wonder, then this is certainly a great opportunity to pick yourself up a copy of one of the greatest tributes to The United States of America...EVER!!! There's a reason why this fine book won itself a Weenie in last years awards, so do yourself a favor and order your copy today!