CHICAGO (Just Laugh) - Only hours after famed baseball hero Sammy Sosa was ejected from a game against the Tampa Bay Devil Rays for using a bat filled with cork, it became embarassingly obvious to several of Sosa's closest friends and family that this sort of thing has actually been going on longer than many had realized with the legendary star. As of the date this report was released, we have received comfirmation that Sosa has also been known to use the carpool lane without carrying any passengers, pad his daily planner by at least a half an hour, violate the meat-to-lettuce ratio when making sandwiches, and even take more than ten items through the express lane at the grocery store.

It was also reported by one of his former girlfriends that, "Sammy certainly isn't a stranger when it comes to the tube sock aisle of the local super store, if you know what I mean..." If you don't know what she means, go rent just about any movie with David Spade in it and everything will become crystal clear...
 

Worldwide Man-Hunt for Jesus Christ Continues...

VALDOSTA, GA (Just Laugh) - Nuns, altar boys, and clergymen a plenty continued to scour the land throughout the night as the massive search for the savior presses on with little or no positive resolutions in the near future. Those involved are being encouraged to enlist the aid of friends, family, and even complete strangers at this point, as few can even remember when this search began anymore...  <<FULL STORY>>
 

Most "Reality TV Shows" are Fake

HOLLYWOOD (Just Laugh) - After nearly four years of witnessing "reality tv" dominate the primetime television circuit, it has come to the attention of several key individuals in the industry that the programs we've been watching may not actually have much reality to them at all. Angry advocates were enraged, authorities were stunned, but we here at Just Laugh really don't have much of an opinion one way or the other...  <<FULL STORY>>
 

June Should Be a Good Month for Going to the Beach, Experts Say...

SAN DIEGO (Just Laugh) - After months and months of research, sheltered away from any and all natural sources of light, it's come to the conclusion of many of the nation's brightest minds that June, in fact, will be a fabulous month for beach parties, barbecues, volleyball matches, and other activities normally associated with going outdoors. Unfortunately, sunscreen manufacturers still don't make a sun block strong enough to protect these pasty-faces from such harsh exposure to sunlight, even for just a few hours, but it's not like they've actually been invited to such events, anyways.

Nonetheless, the scientific community would like to wish the "outside folk" their very best as they frolic and romp around during the next several weeks with nearly perfect weather, commenting only, "Just remember - you all have to come back inside eventually..."