NEW YORK (Just Laugh) - In what can only be described as a horrific accident, only days after the initial release of the new instant best-seller "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," it was announced that several thousand copies of the book were actually printed wrong, giving many unknowing readers an ultra-exclusive look at J.K. Rowling's sixth novel in the series, "Harry Potter and the Anklet of Courage."

Although not originally scheduled to be published until the summer of 2005, "Harry Potter and the Anklet of Courage" deals with some of the more personal challenges that the teenage wizard has skillfully dodged in the past, such as acne, meeting girls, and other urges. Having already spread like wildfire online and in the Asian black markets, it is said that this new installment in the beloved series may now be released as early as Christmas of 2003, pending a stern scolding of the press workers who allowed such an error to slip through in the first place...
 

Superhero 'The Flash' Changes Name

HALL OF JUSTICE (Just Laugh) - When the superhero 'the Flash' decided to change his name, his life suddenly became more exciting. Prior to the name change, the Flash's dating life was less than spectacular.

"I couldn't get laid for anything. Hanging out with Superman and Batman was a nightmare. They get so much pussy that there's nothing left over," said the All-Nighter, the Flash's new superhero name.  <<FULL STORY>>
 

Nation-wide Heat Waves Encourage Residents to Make It a <Insert Your Local Video Store> Night

DALLAS (Just Laugh) - As average temperatures skyrocketed into the triple digits across the United States this week, one of the most common questions to grace the dinner table was easily "What are we going to do tonight?" It was concluded that when it's simply too damn hot for a game of driveway basketball or even just a walk around the block, there's really only one possible alternative, and that's to stay inside, sitting directly infront of three or more fans, watching video rentals until your eyes pop out...  <<FULL STORY>>
 

Ban on Junk Foods in New York Leads on to Grocery & Convenience Stores

NEW YORK (Just Laugh) - Shortly after it was announced that junk foods and other high-calorie items will be removed from school vending machines in the New York area due to an increasing obesity epidemic, it was announced by several of the city's major grocers that they have opted to remove such delicious items as potato chips, cookies, and assorted candy bars from their own shelves as well.

"If some of the kids can't handle it, then everybody's going to suffer," commented manager Joe Thomas. "There are just way too many fat people in this town and personally, I'm getting tired of looking at them! If pulling ho-hos and ding-dongs off of my shelves and out of their mouths will help, then I'm more than willing to do my part to slim this fair city down." Although it wasn't certain exactly how much revenue would be lost by substituting carrots and celery for these normally higher-priced, fast-moving treats, it should be noted that cashiers and baggers have all been provided with riot gear and pepper spray to be used as necessary against any outbursts during this transitional period. Shop safely, New York...

06.25.03 - It may be a tad on the toasty side outdoors, but hey - that's summer for you! On the other hand, it's still nice and cool in front of your computer, so maybe you should just stay inside and let us entertain you for a while...

But before you sit down, it might be a good idea to grab a snack or two for the ride, or better yet, check in first with your favorite cephalopodic chef, Tako the Octopus, for a real dinner! After lord knows how many months, Tako's back with a brand-spankin'-new episode of Deep Fried, Live! and this time he's preparing the perfect steak, for a very special dinner guest! Essential to the backyard chef and extra-terrestrials alike, this is one you don't want to miss!

Once you've got some food in your belly, though, it's time to settle in and let that meat digest, but that doesn't mean you can't have a little fun during the act. Our friends over at KewlBox Entertainment have branded two new games just in time for summer, so whether you're in the mood for exploring the ancient ruins of a lost civilization or even thrashing up the neighborhood with a sugar buzz that would make Milton Hershey himself jealous, consider yourself covered:

       

You may have also noticed a new name amongst our columnists to your left, so without further adue, Just Laugh magazine is pleased to welcome Bradley Werner to our band of comedic samaritans! Bradley comes to us from the east coast, boasting credentials from Maxim Magazine, MTV, and even the Long Island Spelling Bee, and we look forward to showcasing his hilarious grammatical prowess for years to come!

And if you think that this was a big issue, then wait until you see what we've got in store for you next month! Hint: 50th Anniversary Issue...

Reader's Poll...

What's your favorite summertime activity? not going to school 31.8% absolutely nothing 27.3% drinking beer with friends 18.2% reading 13.6% laying out in the sun 4.5% playing frisbee at the beach 4.5% Total Votes: 22     Version 2.02

Dazed and Confused
written & directed by: Richard Linklater

An omage to everything that the culmination of high school ever could be, Dazed and Confused depicts the non-stop free-will of an outgoing senior class that manages to leave a lasting impression on their under-classmen, even if they're too high to remember any of it the next day! The original stoner comedy, this is a must see for anyone who can't stand the new age weed parodies that Hollywood graces us with today...