Humor Blog Highlights

I’m Just Here to Pee

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I don’t know what your plans are, but I’m just here to pee, and maybe play a little Angry Birds before my next meeting.

I don’t care what you have between your legs because going to the bathroom isn’t really a group effort. Despite what the ladies may imply about going to the restroom in groups, I’m pretty sure that’s just for gossiping about anyone who didn’t come to the restroom with them.

I think when it comes to getting down to business in the bathroom, women are pretty solitary creatures in their habits just as much as guys are, so I don’t really get why everyone is so up in arms about whether transgender persons go in one door or the other – it’s all just poop and pee on the other side of those doors.

Some people in society place too much pressure on where other folks should poop and pee in this day and age, as if they’re right there snuggled up in the stall next to them, coaxing things along and offering up words of encouragement along the way like some sort of bathroom coach.

But people don’t need coaches in the bathroom – we all know how it works. You close the door behind you, poop and/or pee comes out of various holes in your body, and then when you’re done if there’s anybody else washing their hands, you do the same so that you don’t look like a weirdo. It’s not complicated.

There are plenty of more important things to worry about than where a transgender person goes to the bathroom. Like do they prefer Angry Birds Seasons or Angry Birds in Space, which is way tougher but you’ve got to admit that the effects of gravity and weightlessness are kind of cool. Also, do transgender people do that fake out about washing their hands if nobody else is around, too, or is that just me?

These are the types of bathroom questions about other people that are important. Other than that, I don’t care if you’re King Tut, or King Kong, or King Kong’s girlfriend who’s in the middle of transitioning and she still looks kind of feminine, but you’re not going to say anything because a) that would be rude, and b) who in their right mind pisses off King Kong’s friends?!

Like I said, I’m just here to pee, and apparently I’m going to be here for a while because King Kong’s transgender lady friend just beat my high score…

About Scott Sevener (572 Posts since 2001)
The Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Just Laugh, Scott writes about the random things in life that amuse him - from the miracle of childbirth to the bologna sandwich he just ate for breakfast. He currently resides in Tampa, FL with a girl, a baby, and a dog that never shuts the hell up.