Back in my day, we made up fake news just to make people laugh.
With headlines like Dolphins Evolve Opposable Thumbs and WWE Challenges US Government to a Cage Match, only the biggest of idiots ever thought that any of these hilarious stories actually contained even one iota of truth and the rest of us all enjoyed a cavalcade of laughter at the farce of the ridiculous and the bizarre being proposed as legitimate news.
And then you came along – with your social medias and your political bias, devoid of any journalistic integrity that might actually drive you to research your shit before posting baseless drivel online in the form of stupid memes and clickbait articles for the sake of not laughs, but what???
Thanks to fake news being hijacked by the politically corrupt, dumb people will click on anything these days and consider it fact instead of being skeptical because even an idiot could tell that a woman stealing tampons from work for pleasure couldn’t possibly be a real thing … or even if it was, a real live, legitimate journalist wouldn’t see fit to write a story for a real live, legitimate newspaper about it!
This is not your 10th grade US history class where you could just make up any old tale about the revolutionary war being fought over free access to mashed potatoes and gravy and your drunk of a history teacher would just give everybody A’s because he’d spent the night before waltzing with Jack Daniels in his studio apartment above the music store downtown wondering how his life had become all of this when in college he’d really wanted to be a poet instead.
This is the Internet where we post pictures of cats and inspirational quotes attributed to the wrong people, but in an amusing sort of way, and you don’t just blatantly make up things that are false, but not in a satirical manner, because you enjoy confusing people like some sort of asshole who lives in a trashcan with surprisingly good Internet access.
It’s not hard to look things up online. You literally just type something like 2016 ELECTION POPULAR VOTE into that bar at the top of your screen and a page will pop up showing you the actual numbers so you don’t have to just randomly mash buttons on the keyboard until your incendiary meme is complete and ready to post.
When you post mindless drivel suggesting that one group of people did something bad to another group of people when truth be told both groups of people just stayed home and caught up on their respective Netflix queues instead, it does a disservice to legitimate mindless drivel trying to make people chuckle by suggesting that a woman punching a hamburger has intentions for running for the Republican presidential nomination.
So in the immortal words of President-Elect Donald Trump, which is sadly not a fake news creation by any stretch of one’s perverted imagination, “Stop it.”