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"New and improved!"
"50% more for half the cost!"
"The best thing since sliced bread!"
It surrounds us every single day, subtly (and sometimes not so!) attempting
to convince us to throw our hard-earned cash in their direction and use
their product or service. Huge conglomerates spend millions of dollars
each year doing market research and paying senior executives lucrative
sums to drive their corporation's logo into our minds with the hopes of
our conversion to their brand of soda or clothing. Attracted by flashy
lights, pretty colors and celebrity appearances, they convince us that
diet does taste more like regular, a six-pack of malt liquor will turn
an empty studio apartment into a party in seconds, and with that shiny,
new car will help you score the girl (or guy) of your dreams, all while
saving the environment and netting record mileage figures.
If you're one of these folks who are easily swayed by these messages, then do we
have some new products for you...
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Call 'em on Your Own Time Cellular!
(introduced to the market on April 23, 2003)
"Communicational independence for the discriminating aristocrat..."
Whoever said that technology and information should be available to the masses obviously didn't have a profit-margin to worry about! Nonetheless, we're putting the power back in your jurisdiction with a few extra bonuses, giving your business just the advantage it needs to get back on-top of the game... |
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Mama's Hometown Cafe
(introduced to the market on April 23, 2003)
"Everybody's gotta eat, right?"
There's food, and then there's Mama's home-cooked food. Whether you've just flown in from the daily grind in the city or are just coming in off the lake after an afternoon of fishing, there's not a man or woman around who can resist the unique sensations found in Mama's Warm Apple Pie... |
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The So-So Hotel
(introduced to the market on April 23, 2003)
"When you need a place to sleep, but not a place to live..."
Lodging that provides exactly what you need - a place to sleep, a bite to eat in the morning, and that's about it! No gimmicks, no flashy sales pitches or obnoxious features, just good, old-fashioned accomodations... |
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Settle 4 Less Web Hosting
(introduced to the market on July 24, 2002)
"Solutions with a Smile!"
Are you tired of fighting day and night with your web host to get the
service and technical support which you deserve? Well fret no more because
Settle 4 Less has got you covered! We're always right on top of all of
your questions about our features...mainly because we don't offer any in the first place... |
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Schlongitude
(introduced to the market on June 12, 2002)
"This isn't your father's penis-enlarger..."
Other programs boast increases of 25% or more, but is that really even
worth your time? Our pills not only double the size of your
manhood, but also burns fat, regrows lost hair, boosts your IQ by at least
40 points and much more!!! You owe it to yourself and to the opposite
sex to check out Schlongitude today! |
More products to come soon!!!
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