Day #4: Spam -- It's Not Just for Dinner Anymore!

"Don't worry, it's almost over," we kept reassuring each other as we headed in for another day of Alpenfest action!  The people were grouped by the hundreds, it was raining like there was no tomorrow, and there we were, faced with the decision of what to do next.  After much careful decision making, we made the choice that most people would've made: let's see if it'll stop raining, because we sure as hell ain't going down there if it doesn't! 

It's not that we were concerned about ourselves.  Certainly we weren't worried about melting, but it's a common fact that water and really expensive cameras don't mix, so we didn't want to go down that road.  Luckily (depending on your perspective), the rain finally let up and we were able to get down to business...
 

First stop on today's trip to the Alpenfest was the dinner tent, of course! Tonight's menu featured sauerkraut and sausage, so we thought, "Great. We don't like sauerkraut, but we could go for a good polish sausage!" Unfortunately, having the two seperate was not an option, as this picture shows.  Mmmm...  Doesn't it make you hungry just looking at it?

After our crappy dinner, we thought we'd do a little wandering to check out some of the people who got tricked into coming to Alpenfest tonight.  Actually, we were just lost and couldn't seem to figure out where the next event was supposed to be staged, but the first answer sounds like a much better cover!
 

When we saw this lady, we knew we had a great photo opportunity. This lady has a whole putting green on her head! The real challenge of taking a photograph like this is making sure you don't look like an idiot just taking a picture of some lady's goofy hat. Well, here at Just Laugh magazine, we really don't care if people think we're idiots (most people already do).  Four!!!

On to our main event for the night, The Spam Carving Contest. (motto: Hell, it's gotta be good for something...)  Contestants were given large blocks of this unedible processed meat product and told to make something useful with it.  We knew that this would be interesting!
 

Now here's an event that you can really sink your teeth into (har, har, har).  Some of the contestants even seemed to display a small amount of skill, carving interesting things such as butterflies (left), cameras (below), celtic symbols, and large piles of chopped up Spam (farther down).

We were hoping to enter in this event ourselves.  We even brought along some of Scott's Christmas cookie cutters to make our job a lot easier.  "This is Spam Santa, and these are Spam Santa's Reindeer."  Sure, it would've been unfair competition, being the spam carving champions that we are.  It's probably all for the best...
 

Check this out: It's a camera...taking a picture of a camera... Neat, eh?

Spam is an interesting medium when it comes to sculpture because, due to the fact that it's all slimy and slippery and disgusting, it is suprisingly very difficult to carve.  Besides, the intruments provided weren't exactly what we'd consider top-notch, so it becomes an increasingly frustrating process as you find yourself cutting through things that shouldn't be cut through.  Our best tips?  Take your time, be sure to layout a plan of action before you actually start cutting and, most important of all, cut off key pieces of other people's sculptures when they're not looking.
 

By the time we actually made it to the contest, this was about all that was actually left.  Just a big 'ol pile of spam.  Figures.

It was late.  We were tired, so needless to say this is going to be a short report tonight.  One high point: Chelsea Oaks and The Chenille Sisters both performed later on that night, but we were well on our way to slumberland by the time that whole thing went down!  We knew, however, that we still needed to find yet another picture for this news post before we could call it a night, so we searched long and hard to find a funny way to end today's entry.  Sorry we weren't able to find anything...
 

It's a trashcan.  Just a plain, old, empty trash can.  It probably has some sort of symbolic meaning pertaining to this festival, but we're just not sure what it is...

Well, tomorrow's the final day, so stop by to check out our thoughts on the parade, the evening's concerts and some final thoughts on Alpenfest.  See you tomorrow!