The first time I ever went to Grenwich Village to see the Halloween parade, I was pretty freaked out at all the costumes, the crazy hairdos, and the masks. I was even more freaked out when I realized it was September, and that's just how some people dress.

Every Halloween party has at least one guest who is too lazy to dress up that will say they are wearing a costume, using the same joke the rest of us used in 8th grade. "What's that? You're going as a stressed out student, and really you're just wearing your every day clothing, as if to say that you're a stressed out student all the time? Oh, how absolutely clever!"

Before you hook up with someone at a Halloween party, take this advice to heart - make sure it's actually a mask.

When you were younger, you'd go trick or treating for candy, because that's all a kid really wants. In college, all any of us really want is play. So wouldn't it be awesome if we could still go trick or treating? Just like when you were a kid, you'll get a few people who will slam the door on you, and a few who will give you something you don't want, like fruit - or something of no real value, like pennies. But in any given year, if you went through the whole neighborhood and got just one really good candy bar, wasn't it worth it?

When I was younger, I couldn't afford to buy my own Halloween candy, so freshman year, I bought all the candy I wanted just because I could. If you think a hangover is bad, try waking up the day after you finish a three-pound bag of candy corn.

This Halloween I wore cat ears, angel wings, and carried a pitch fork, and went as every freaking girl on my campus.

When Halloween falls on a Saturday, you get to party for three days. When if falls on a Monday, you party for five. This year it falls on a Wednesday, so that should be 7 days of partying. But something feels weird to me about a Halloween party on October 25th. Maybe because you can't get away with smacking someone in the back of the head during the last week of March and telling them that it's April Fool's Day weekend.

Have you ever looked at someone's costume and thought "Wow, that's incredibly creative?" What you should really be saying is "why do you own that?"

I know a girl who spent $100 on the perfect Halloween costume that she wore for three hours. But she can't spend the extra 50 cents to avoid drinking Natty Lite.

When you're a kid, Halloween is a time you have good wholesome fun with a bunch of other neighborhood kids, but when you get to college it's just an excuse to drink. Kind of like class.