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More Stores That Won’t Be Open on Thanksgiving…

Features - November 6, 2015

In recent years consumers have watched with turkey-stuffed anticipation as retailers inched their Black Friday sales earlier and earlier until eventually Black Friday became Black Thursday, forcing employees to leave their families and pumpkin pies behind in order to facilitate crowds on the biggest shopping weekend of the year. And yet now as we near the 2015 holiday shopping season, big box retailers such as REI and Costco and Home Depot have announced plans to not be open on the [...]

WANTED: Really, Really Fast Working Elves

High profile employer seeks a team of seasoned toy makers for a last-minute job that he seriously should’ve started working on months ago, but for reasons involving [...]
The Greatest Gift of All Is Never Having Cold Balls.
Be the Merry Christmas you want to see on your coffee cup…
WANTED: Shopping Gimp
Autumn is…

Elf on a Shelf is a Creepy Murderer and You Know It

He’s a miniature elf who runs around your house playing pranks all December under the guise of spying on your kids. Every night while they’re sleeping, he flies [...]
Stop Sullying the Name of Fake News!!!
A Writer Dreams of a Post-Trump World…
I’m Just Here to Pee
Does America Have a Hard-On for Handguns?

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