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Let’s Make 2015 Just Kind of So-So!

Features - December 29, 2014

We know that people tend to get all motivational and eager for new life changes as we prepare to leave one year behind and charge into the next, but honestly if we really sit down and think about it, 2014 was already pretty great. Is it really worth getting all worked up and setting impossible standards for ourselves to make going into 2015??? The answer, of course, is a resounding, “No way, José!” Here are some things that we can all do together to make the new [...]

WANTED: Really, Really Fast Working Elves

High profile employer seeks a team of seasoned toy makers for a last-minute job that he seriously should’ve started working on months ago, but for reasons involving [...]
The Greatest Gift of All Is Never Having Cold Balls.
Be the Merry Christmas you want to see on your coffee cup…
WANTED: Shopping Gimp
Autumn is…

Elf on a Shelf is a Creepy Murderer and You Know It

He’s a miniature elf who runs around your house playing pranks all December under the guise of spying on your kids. Every night while they’re sleeping, he flies [...]
Stop Sullying the Name of Fake News!!!
A Writer Dreams of a Post-Trump World…
I’m Just Here to Pee
Does America Have a Hard-On for Handguns?

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