Humor Blog Highlights

If You Had to Vote for President Today…

© Andrey Burmakin / Dollar Photo Club

Today is Election Day in America! 

…and if it was already 2016, some of you might actually care about that…

But it’s not, so nobody will, but let’s just say that it was for the sake of at least thinking about actually electing somebody today. If you had to step into that little booth and punch holes in a manner that will serve to shape our democracy for the next four years, what would you do? What would you do???

  • I’d vote for Hillary Clinton because I, too, occasionally have issues with my e-mail.
  • I’d vote for Donald Trump because I enjoy the way he arrogantly insults people with no actual logic to back it up.
  • I’d vote for Bernie Sanders because unfortunately it’s only in hypothetical situations like this that he has any chance of actually winning.
  • I’d vote for Hammering Joe Biden because as far as I’m concerned, that story from The Onion about Joe washing his Trans Arm in the driveway of the White House with his shirt off is the real Joe Biden.
  • I’d vote for Jeb Bush because you’d think that after 12 years of Bush presidencies I’d have learned my lesson, but I very much haven’t.
  • I’d vote for Dr. Ben Carson because I prefer my doctorally credentialed public officials to believe as little scientific consensus as possible.
  • I’d vote for Jill Stein because I’ll be long gone by the time you’ve had a chance to lookup whoever the hell she is.
  • I don’t never vote, but I’ve got a roll of those I voted! stickers just so that other people will leave me alone. People like you…
About Scott Sevener (580 Posts since 2001)
The Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Just Laugh, Scott writes about the random things in life that amuse him - from the miracle of childbirth to the bologna sandwich he just ate for breakfast. He currently resides in Tampa, FL with a girl, a baby, and a dog that never shuts the hell up.