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- Already has a root canal scheduled for that day, figuring it will be less painful.
- Hasn’t been able to figure out a way that he can personally profit from the event yet.
- Prefers to surround himself with people who he hasn’t called the lyingest liars in all of liardom.
- After a busy week of bullshitting, the President just wants to relax at Mar-A-Lago with a few other close bullshitters.
- Bathrobe. Twitter. Unopened case of Cadbury Creme Eggs.
- Expects to have disbanded the fourth estate by then anyways, so…
- Have you had the Chicken Marengo they serve at those things?! Just disgraceful!
- Worried the night will just be filled with jokes about the size of his inauguration.