Father Time Runs Late
LOS ANGELES (Just Laugh) – It was reported yesterday that Father Time forgot to set his alarm clock yesterday. His boss, the Supreme Being, reported that Father Time was three and a half hours late to his job which caused the time on earth to stand still for the duration of his tardiness. Most people on the third rock from the sun were incredibly agitated with this time lapse. However, as was reported later, those people who were in the dentist office, in rush hour traffic, or hearing stories about their grandmother’s miniature elephant collection, failed to notice the time freeze.
“I don’t know what got into him this morning,” The Supreme Being grumbled, “He’s always so punctual.”
Rumors have it that a one night stand with Mother Nature could have been the cause.
“Every one of us Figments of Imagination know that those two have been hot an heavy for a while,” whispered Harvey the Rabbit. “I just find it too ironic that on the same day Father Time was late, the North Pole was 121 degrees. It seems to me like both of them were too busy bopping to do their job.”
Mother Nature’s live-in boyfriend, Jack Frost, disputes the claim. “Mother Nature was with me last night. As far as the North Pole, I left more than enough snow for them when I punched out last night. It’s Mrs. Claus’ excessive use of aerosol hairspray that causes the ozone above the North Pole to rip. Ask my poor buddy, Frosty – Global Warming is a bitch.”
Father Time’s work attendance record has been perfect since the beginning of time. However, this slight lapse caused the Supreme Being to consider hiring an extra part time employee to do the task of managing the universe’s time if this incident should happen again. The Supreme Being reported that the selection will not be easy, as the Figment of Imagination would have to have some concept of time. It has been rumored that the top contender for the position is the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. However, this rumor has been denied by a spokesperson for the Supreme Being due to the rabbit’s notorious tardiness record.
