Humor Blog Highlights

I’m Gonna Kill That !&#^*!(&# Cricket…

Gaylord, MI (Just Laugh) – *Chirp*, *chirp*, *chirp*…

It’s 4:30 in the morning…I’ve gotta get up in a few hours to go to work and I haven’t been able to sleep all night because of it. It’s lucky I’m not going to get out of bed because it’d be one dead cricket…

*Chirp*, *chirp*, *chirp*…

Alright, that’s it! I stumble out of bed and find my flashlight – I’m not taking any chances this time. I’ve already made this attempt three times already tonight, but it’s always quick to silence once I find it’s general area. I slowly approach the source of the satanic squeal, pausing every time it senses my presence and silences itself. I spot it in the corner, calmly rubbing it’s legs together as if it’s in the middle of a gigantic field somewhere. Finally, I make my move … whap!!! The dead carcass is now imprinted into the unread sports section of this week’s local paper. I consider impaling the body on a tooth-pick in the center of the room as a warning to anyone else who dares to keep me awake at such an hour, but I don’t think I even have any tooth-picks.

After a quick drink of water as my “victory celebration,” I crawl back into bed and prepare to capture a few brief hours of sleep before another long day. My eyelids grow heavy and I soon find myself in the long-forgotten state of sleep – nothing could possibly wake me up now.

*Chirp*, *chirp*, *chirp*…

About Scott Sevener (580 Posts since 2001)
The Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Just Laugh, Scott writes about the random things in life that amuse him - from the miracle of childbirth to the bologna sandwich he just ate for breakfast. He currently resides in Tampa, FL with a girl, a baby, and a dog that never shuts the hell up.