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New Grad Excited to Get Started in Horrible Career That Will Suck Majority of Pleasure From Her Life

© lightpoet / Dollar Photo Club

ATLANTA (Just Laugh) – Proudly graduating Summa Cum Laude from Clark Atlanta University with a major in Business Management, even more so than enjoying a well-earned celebration with her closest family and friends, new college graduate Jamie Poole admits that she’s most looking forward to diving right into the job market and putting her newfound skills to use in a career that will ultimately suck the majority of the pleasure from her life over the next 20-30 years … if she’s lucky.

“I just can’t wait to start!” the disillusioned graduate cited. “I had several classes my senior year that focused on project management and I think that’s going to be so much fun – bringing together all sorts of people throughout the company to solve problems and create new things…”

Still oblivious to the mountains of corporate bureaucracy and broken processes that will prevent her from getting any actual work done during the numerous mundane meetings in which she’ll call together people far too busy to care about whatever entry-level project she’s been assigned in the name of training, Poole seemed anxious to waste years if not decades of her life putting in long hours for a business that will regularly layoff dozens of her new friends and coworkers solely for the reason of maintaining consistent shareholder profits.

“It’s so exciting – all of the new people that I’m going to meet and the problems I’m going to solve,” told Poole, not realizing that most of the people she will meet through her role as a project manager will hate her and the closest thing she’ll come to solving a real problem her first year will be loaning her cubicle neighbor whose name she’ll never learn change for the vending machine that she’ll never get back.

“It’s like the whole world is my oyster, and I’ve got my entire life before me…” Poole mused passionately, unknowing that before her 20’s are through, she’ll have second-guessed her major at least seven times and if she’s lucky, opted to return to school for her Master’s Degree in a subject as far away from Business Management as she can possibly get.

About Scott Sevener (580 Posts since 2001)
The Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Just Laugh, Scott writes about the random things in life that amuse him - from the miracle of childbirth to the bologna sandwich he just ate for breakfast. He currently resides in Tampa, FL with a girl, a baby, and a dog that never shuts the hell up.