Pent Up Chinese Couples Announce 1 Billion Pregnancies
BEIJING (Just Laugh) – Merely days after news of Chinese officials’ decision to lift the 35 year-old rule limiting couples to only one child, nearly 74% of the Chinese population collectively announced that they are pregnant with happy plans to deliver the country’s next generation of citizens as soon as summer 2016.
Noting that the prospective policy hasn’t technically even been written yet, members of the government have already convened emergency sessions to calculate the probability of twins, or dare they even suggest triples, with Chinese President Xi Jinping issuing a desperate follow-up order urging citizens to go outside and enjoy the lovely weather, and for couples to maybe consider spending some time apart to help strengthen their relationships while the country faces its unprecedented shortage of baby bonnets and chocolate cigars.