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Google to Begin Testing New Self-Texting Cars

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Mountain View, CA (Just Laugh) – As the company’s growing fleet of autonomous vehicles continues to log tens of thousands of driverless miles each and every week, Google as an innovator isn’t satisfied with merely striving to revolutionize the transportation industry, as evidenced with their latest experimental advancement that hopes to make driverless cars more authentic than ever.

“Just like humans, the specialized computers that we already employ to serve as the brains for our driverless vehicles always seem to have a little extra bandwidth to spare – or at least they think that they do – so we figured why not put those computing cycles to use just like countless drivers recklessly do today by teaching our cars to send text messages while they’re supposed to be focused on the hazards of the road,” pitched Lead Unsafety Engineer Anthony Cayley.

“By diverting a small amount of processing power from the sophisticated sensors that detect other vehicles and potential road obstructions, our cars will be able to send hundreds of mistyped and often times uninformative text messages to other vehicles every second,” boasted Multitasking Developer Yi Leong.

The technology giant noted that it already has even more exciting innovations in its autonomous pipeline, including a self-driving car that also makes french fries at the same time as well as an entire line of self-operating tow trucks.

About Scott Sevener (580 Posts since 2001)
The Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Just Laugh, Scott writes about the random things in life that amuse him - from the miracle of childbirth to the bologna sandwich he just ate for breakfast. He currently resides in Tampa, FL with a girl, a baby, and a dog that never shuts the hell up.